Page 83 of An Accidental Bride for the Duke
She walked the path and Robert heard her coming. He turned and when he saw her, he smiled. It was reserved and a little awkward, back to being his not-so-sure self, rather than that which brimmed with confidence.
“Your Grace,” he said as she came for him.
“Please, Iris is fine,” she said.
He nodded. “Iris, then. I am thinking that this is quite the surprise.”
“You were not at the top of my list for random visitors, that is for sure,” she said with humor. She came to within a few feet of him but stopped short. “And I might ask what this is about, but I assume you will have no trouble telling me.”
Robert sighed. “I came to apologize.”
“Again?” she frowned. “I thought you did that already.”
He laughed. “I did. But I find I have a bit of a knack for it—who would have guessed. So, when on a run, why not press it.”
She did not laugh in return, studying Lord Robert with curiosity because she doubted his apology pertained to that which he had already offered her.
“I have been doing some thinking this past week,” Robert started, the humor falling from his tone. “When Philip and I… I wish to say spoke, but I don’t think that quite covers it.”
“I remember.”
“The point is, Philip accused me of some things. All of which are true. My entire life…” A shake of the head. “I have run from my responsibility, shirking my duty, leaving in my wake chaos and anarchy because I never was much good at taking responsibility for my actions.”
“Robert…” She held out a hand. “You have already apologized to me for what you did. And I already forgave you.”
“Oh, I am not here to apologize for that,” he said. “No, no. The point of all of this is that I am trying to do things differently. Now, when I do something to cause harm, I intend to apologize for it, without simply running and hoping that in time it is forgotten. I want to change,” he emphasized, and she could see the truth in his eyes as well as hearing it on his tongue. “And that starts right here.”
She gave her head a shake. “I still do not understand what you are apologizing for.”
“You will think it is stupid,” he said with a grimace. “Likely, it is, and it’s all in my head. But again, that is not what matters. Mistakes were made and need to be rectified.”
“What mistakes?”
“I have been hounded with guilt these past few days, whenever I think back to my unannounced visit at your home. And the way I left it…” Another grimace. “I worry that my intrusion might have upset my brother, and that it might have added some tension into your marriage. My fear being that I acted as a spoiler, and all that has happened since was a direct result of, well…” He let his shoulders slump. “Of me being me.”
Iris stared with bewilderment, taken completely by surprise at Robert’s words. “Robert… that is… surely, that is not why you are here?”
“It is the only reason,” he said seriously. “I wish to make amends. And after I leave here, I will visit my brother again. At the very least I can try and right one wrong before it is too late.”
She exhaled and shook her head at him. “I appreciate what you are saying, Robert. But you must know, your visit had no effect on my marriage whatsoever.”
“There is no need to lie for me, Iris.”
“I am not lying.”
“Oh?” He looked at her with a disbelieving expression. “And the fact that you moved out the following day is just a coincidence? That you are now living with your sister—one of the four you have, mind you. It made you rather hard to find,” he chuckled. “I know this is my fault, Iris, and where I might not be able to change what I did, the least I can do is make amends.”
There was an irony here somewhere, Iris was sure. That Robert of all people was the one to apologize, doing so not because he thought it would change anything, but because it was the right thing to do. Not seeking forgiveness. Not trying to fix anything. Just admitting his mistake, for better or for worse.
If only Philip might learn from him. If only I might learn from him…
She smiled softly, closed the gap between them, and rested a hand on his arm. “Robert, I appreciate that you thought to comehere. So much. But you need to know that what happened with your brother and me had nothing to do with you.”
“But—"
“I assure you, Philip’s and my problems are our own, caused by my hand, confirmed when I was unable to admit my own mistakes.” She scoffed. “And Philip was unable to forgive them. You had nothing to do with it.”
His brow furrowed. “Truly?”
