Page 25 of The Highlander's Alluring Spy
Oh, no. What have you done, Magnolia?
She recalled the heat of Nathair’s breath and the scratch of his beard. She could still feel the way the skin on the back of his neck had felt under her fingers, how his lips had been warm and pliant against her own…and how he’d stared at her, horrified, when they finished.
Was it possible to die of embarrassment? She had half a mind to lay here forever and find out.
Why did I do that? Why did I kiss him?
It was not her first kiss. She’d kissed men before, on a bet or on a whim. Not many, but enough that she knew what it was like. She’d never had a lover, of course. It wouldn’t have been proper, and besides, she’d been far too focused on her work, especially after joining the Order. She’d had offers a-plenty, but hardly any interested her. A kiss here and there, for curiosity’s sake, but nothing else.
And that’s all this was. Curiosity. Satisfaction. And now it’s done.
But she knew that this was a lie. She knew that this kiss had been building in her for days, more than a week, even. Nathair angered and frustrated her, but she’d taken notice of Nathair’s appearance and his body the very second she’d walked into this castle. He was a threat, he was dangerous, but she had wanted him since the second she arrived, even if she didn’t know it.
And now look at you. A traitor to the Crown.
Miserable, she pulled the sheets up over her head. She couldn’t fend off the daylight forever. She’d have to get up soon. She wished Lizzy was here, that she had someone to talk to–but Lizzy was Magnolia Winterbourne’s best friend. She was Magnolia Leighmoore, the wanton nanny who was slowly signing her country’s own death warrant.
What would my Father say if he knew what I did? What would my Mother think of me from heaven?
Tears burned at her eyes, and she allowed herself a moment of self-pity under the blanket. Magnolia had been so sure of herself for her whole life, and now—
There was a tentative knock at the door. She ignored it.
And it’s not just Nathair either, is it? My heart swells when I see Elaine in the day.
The child was sweet, kind, and gentle, and she would be her undoing. More than once, Magnolia had pictured herself with a little girl just as perfect as Elaine. Wise beyond her years and eager to learn, she reminded Magnolia of herself in a way that made her fill with pride.
But she’s the daughter of a threat to your home and to your Father. She’s no better than a princess from a warring country.
Another knock, more insistent this time. Magnolia groaned, still under the blankets. Let them knock. Perhaps she would claim to be sick today. Elaine could spend time with the cook or the maids, and Magnolia could simply put last night’s behavior down to a fever.
Immoral. Failure. Traitor.
A third knock, then she heard someone opening the door. She didn’t lower the blankets, hoping whoever it was would leave. Then there were footsteps, and someone stood next to her bed. She cringed, fearing Nathair’s voice, but the person who called her name was much softer.
“Magnolia?” Betty’s youthful, uncertain tone shocked Magnolia into paying attention. “Are ye sick? Dae ye want me to get a healer?”
Magnolia lowered the covers from her head at last. “I…why do you ask? Is it later than I thought?”
Betty shook her head. “Nay, but the master isnae well, and he said he thought ye might have caught it, too. He’s spendin’ the day in bed and says ye’re free to dae the same. Dae ye want me to get ye anything? And dinnae ye worry, I’ll take Elaine today.”
Poor, sweet Betty. So eager to be kind and helpful. Magnolia couldn’t simply pawn the child off on her. Betty had her own job to do.
And besides, who does Nathair think he is? Does he really believe that a single kiss from his Lairdship is enough to set me off for a whole day?
Never mind what she’d thought just that a moment before. She still felt offended somehow, and too proud to allow such a thing. Sick, indeed! No, she had a job to do. Two jobs.
“I’m not sick, Betty,” she said. “Thank you so much for checking on me. I suppose I may have overslept, but do not concern yourself. I am quite well.”
Betty didn’t quite seem to believe her. “Are…we’re friends, are we nae?”
“Yes, of course, we’re friends,” Magnolia told her with genuine surprise. She sat up. “Have I been rude to you? I sincerely apologize if so, Betty. I—”
“Nay, nay, it isnae that,” Betty assured her. “It’s just, well, I can see there’s somethin’ that isnae right wi’ ye. I havenae got all that many friends, ye ken, but I ken that friends talk when somethin’s amiss.”
For a second, Magnolia hesitated. It would be nice, just for a moment, to just be a normal girl. Toreallybe Magnolia Leighmoore, and really be a nanny with no other worries than inappropriateness with the master. If that was all, she could whisper it in Betty’s ear, and they could giggle about it together.
But she doesn’t know who I really am. What I really am.
