Page 48 of The Highlander's Alluring Spy
Magnolia’s eyes widened, and she felt her heart race. “I—no, of course, I’m—that is to say, My Laird is—”
Eilidh laughed, a deep laugh that seemed to resonate through her entire impressive being. “Och, ye poor wee thing. Ye’ve got it bad, so ye have. How long did it take?”
Magnolia considered trying to deny it. She considered pretending that she had no idea what Eilidh was talking about, but she knew it would be no use. She had the feeling that this sharp-eyed Lady never missed a thing. Instead, she said nothing at all.
Eilidh reached out and patted her shoulder. “It’s all right. Ye’re a woman, and women have needs just as men dae, even if they dinnae want us to ken that. Ye see yonder kennel master?”
Magnolia glanced in the direction she was pointing. The kennel master was an unremarkable man, with brown hair and eyes and clothes. The gentleness in his expression when he dealt with the dogs and showed Elaine the best way to pet them certainly made his face worth a second glance.
The kennel master was older than Magnolia, older than Eilidh and Nathair too. He was perhaps ages with the Viscount of Mitread, mid-thirties or so. His skin was bronzed from long days working in the sun, his round shoulders showing he was as strong as his dogs.
“That’s Leonard. He’s me lover,” Eilidh said matter-of-factly.
Magnolia stared at her in shock. The other woman hadn’t even lowered her voice! Anyone nearby might have heard. But Eilidh continued to look unconcerned. In fact, she was scrutinizing Magnolia’s face, as if testing her reaction.
“I…that was most unexpected, My Lady,” Magnolia said after a pause. “What about your husband?”
Eilidh scoffed. “Och, wee Tony, bless his heart. He’s been wantin’ in me petticoats since he was twelve years old and learnt what a woman is. Poor lad nearly imploded when I agreed to wed him a year after me Michael died. He’s so besotted that he doesnae even question that I still havenae bedded him.”
“Michael was the first Laird? His brother?” Magnolia asked.
Eilidh nodded. She glanced out over to the kennel master, a soft expression on her face, then turned back to Magnolia. “See, the thing is, Magnolia–may I call ye that?–the thing is, naebody except Tony is under any illusions as to why we wed. I mean, look at me. Dae ye really think a woman nearin’ thirty wanted to be shackled to a self-important bairn o’ eight-and-ten?”
The Lady sighed, leaning back in her chair, giving Magnolia a frank look. “I loved me Michael wi’ all me heart,” she said. “Just as much as I love Leonard. I ken I was lucky, luckier than many women in me position. I could marry somebody who made me heart swell with pride at bein’ able to say he was mine. When he died, I never thought I’d love again.”
Magnolia considered this. “But you love Leonard now?”
“I love Leonardtoo,” Eilidh corrected. “See the thing abou’ hearts, Magnolia, is that they heal, even when ye think they never will. I hurt for three long years after me Michael died, sure tha’ I’d never feel happy again.”
She smiled. “An’ then I met Leonard, and it changed. I felt guilty for a long time, to be sure, but eventually, I realized. Michael wouldnae want me mopin’. He’d want me to be free. That doesnae mean I’ll ever stop lovin’ him. It’s just different now.”
“And so you moved forward with Leonard,” Magnolia said. She found her heart aching at this bittersweet tale, but she couldn’t work out exactly where the pain was coming from. “But then, why did you marry Anthony in the first place?”
“Ye ken why,” Eilidh said with a dry laugh. “For me people. Losin’ Michael and losin’ me all in one fell swoop wouldnae have been good for a clan tha’ already lost much in the war. Anthony is a sweet, silly boy, and he’s nae idea how to care for his people. I had to choose between duty an’ sentiment, and I chose duty.”
Magnolia was silent. She was thinking of her own father, her own people. The Order. Her mission.
And then she looked out and saw Elaine, giggling with the puppies. She thought of a pair of intense green eyes–no longer a source of fear, but of something else, something she’d never expected.
“Do you regret it?” she asked Eilidh quietly, her fingers lightly brushing the sleeping pup’s fur.
Eilidh smiled sadly at her. “Sometimes,” she said. “I did what I had to dae, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldnae have been happier as the kennel master’s wife. Maybe even comin’ back to Clan MacFoihl, instead o’ being stuck here a glorified nanny.”
Duty. Love. What does it all mean? Why is she telling me this?
“I feel,” she said finally, “that you may see more than you let on.”
The Lady laughed. “Aye, ye’re certainly nae the first to suggest such.” She gave Magnolia a sympathetic look. “Magnolia. I dinnae ken why ye’re here. Why ye’re really here, I mean. I dinnae ken what’s got all that guilt swimmin’ behind yer eyes.”
Magnolia bit her lip, fear shooting through her. Was this where she was caught? Was this where it all ended?
For some inexplicable reason, she could picture nothing but how hurt Nathair would be by all of this, and how she’d do anything–anything–to avoid it.
Eilidh was watching her. “I dinnae drag ye out here to judge or to make choices for ye,” she said gently. “But I dae want to warn ye. Whatever you’re facing, choose carefully. Dinnae forget who ye are. And if ye’re not sure about what’s really important, well then it’s time to get to ken yerself, and quick.”
Magnolia swallowed. Her eyes were damp, and suddenly tears were running down her face, tears that had been building for weeks without falling how they needed to. Glad Elaine was distracted, she allowed herself to sob, unsure why she was crying except that she felt like her heart might burst. “I don’t—I can’t—” she started.
Eilidh pulled her into a friendly hug, skillfully hiding Magnolia’s face in her shoulder and avoiding any damage to the pup on her lap. “There, there. Ye dinnae have to tell me. In fact, I’d rather ye didnae. It’s a’right just to cry for a bit. Go ahead, let it out. Lord above kens I wish I’d had a shoulder to cry on more than once.”
