Page 65 of The Highlander's Alluring Spy
Nathair let go of her hand and sat on the grass by the loch, tugging gently at her arm until she was sitting down next to him. “I tell ye,” he said gently, “because, Magnolia, William has been tryin’ his best for weeks to coax me into tellin’ ye what I did last night.”
Magnolia started, unsure if she heard correctly. “Are…are you telling me that he…”
“I’m sayin’ he likes ye, Magnolia, and he thinks ye’re good for me. I ken it’s fast, and I ken it’s sudden, but I also ken what I feel. And if William trusts ye too, then I dinnae see any reason to hold back.” Nathair’s expression was serious.
Magnolia’s heart rate sped at the implications of what he was saying. She couldn’t be entirely sure, but it sounded like he wanted to…it seemed like he wished…
He leaned over and nuzzled her cheek, his beard tickling. “I’m so glad ye turned up at me door, Miss Magnolia Leighmoore.”
Her smile slipped in an instant.
And reality returns.
There it was again, that name that wasn’t her own. The woman he loved didn’t even exist. And suddenly, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t lie to him anymore.
But no more can I tell him the truth right now. If I do, I will lose him forever, and I cannot bear it.
His face was moving, ready to catch her in another kiss, but she put a hand up gently to stop him. “Nathair,” she said. “Nathair, there are things you don’t know.”
He pulled back a little, but he didn’t look upset. “Is this abou’ the big secret ye’ve been keepin’ all this time. What is it? A husband? A bairn?”
“You…you knew I was hiding something?” she asked, astonished. And she’d been so careful! Even if his guesses were entirely wrong, she still found herself taken aback.
Nathair chuckled. “Aye, I’ve kenned since the moment I saw those lovely blue eyes o’ yers. Ye’re awfie good, but I didnae get to me position among the Lairds without bein’ able to notice things.”
She gave him a rueful smile. Her wild, intelligent, handsome Highlander. How had she ever thought these people savage? How had they ever been at war?
War.
Suddenly, Magnolia wanted nothing more than to cry. She felt weary, as though she hadn’t slept in the whole time she’d been here, as the burden of the letter she had still to write weighed on her conscience.
Spy. Traitor.
“Well? Are ye gonnae tell me?” Nathair prompted gently.
Can I? Can I so readily betray my own people, my Father?
Magnolia opened her mouth, trying to work out how to phrase it, trying to work out anything at all to tell him, but when she tried to talk, her voice simply refused to work. “I…Nathair, I’m so sorry, but I can’t. My life before now…it was different from what I’d like you to know about. Iwilltell you. I swear it. But please, do not make me do it now. And do not ask me for any commitment until I can do you the justice of the truth.”
Nathair considered her for a moment, then slowly raised his hand to cup her face, making her raise her eyes to look up at him. His green eyes shone with concern and intelligence and, yes, love, and Magnolia simply wanted to be lost in them forever.
“It’s a’right,” he said. “Whatever it is, it cannae be that bad. Ye’ve got a good heart, Magnolia. I’ll wait until ye’re ready. But until then, I want to ken something for sure.”
Whatever it is, I’m going to have to lie. Again. That’s all I do now.
The thought unsettled her, making her feel sick to the stomach, and not just a little disgusted with herself.
I never thought I’d feel guilty for serving my Crown and Country. Am I doomed to guilt either way?
She nodded, her throat dry. “All right. What do you want to know?”
He looked at her seriously for a long moment. “Did ye mean it last night? When ye said tha’ you love me?”
Magnolia flinched, astonished that he should even have to ask such a question. Did she mean it? How could she not mean it? He was everything right in the world. The sun rose on his smile and set for his sleep, and the birds sang because he was so full of life that the world needed to respond.
“Of course I meant it,” Magnolia said, and her voice was firm and confident for the first time. “Of course I did. I love you, Nathair Irvine, more than anyone I have ever met in my life.”
Of that, at least, she could be satisfied. Staying or going, who she could trust, who she would hurt–none of that was apparent–but Magnolia knew she loved this man.
