Page 64 of Sinbound to the Highlander
Refusing to look himself in the copper mirror, for fear that he would see his haggard face, Evan left to the dining hall where he knew a hefty feast would already be laying out on the tables. God help him if he would eat a bite of it.
The Milleson’s were not at the table yet, but his mother was there and most of the clan’s people, clinking goblets and having a merry time. He even passed some who were talking about Yuletide, and how they would celebrate it.
Stepping up the dais, he kissed his mother’s cheek, and she, in turn, frowned, “Did ye sleep at all last night, Son?”
“Nay,” Evan reached for his goblet, pleased to see that it was filled with wine. Not willing to expound on it, he trained his gaze on the doorway where the family would enter.
His spirit sunk even further when the family came in, the Laird and Lady sporting smiles, while Freya was a bit gaunt. He wished she would see his eyes, but she kept her eyes trained away. His gaze flickered to Elspeth, but her present nonchalant look was no different from the one she usually wore.
Look at me Love, please.
She kept her eyes down and on her lap. How Evan ached to reach out to touch her face or compliment on her royal-blue dress. But her diligent attention to the table chilled him even deeper. Evan stood and addressed the people before him only because he had to, as his heart was not in it.
With the goblet lifted high, he called the attention of the people and announced, “This day marks the last day the Millesons will be with us as a family. I pray ye all wish them a safe journey home and peace upon arrival.”
An agreeing roar accompanied by feet stomps, and the slapping of tables nearly shook the walls, but Evan was not done, “And for the next coming Spring, when the land has awakened from its sleep, when the flowers are in full bloom. Ye will all witness me marriage to lovely Freya Crushom!”
That brought her head up and bashfully, she waved. At least he had earned her attention. She aimed a smile at him, and though slight, it was balm to his ragged soul. Evan drank more than he ate, preferring to have his fill of Freya than eating food.
When the family announced that they were going to leave, Evan managed to catch Freya before she went to her room. In a private nook, he cupped her face, with both hands, “Love, look at me.”
She did, and he breathed out in relief, “I wasnae right last night, I never meant to anger ye,mo ghràdh,but I still daenae believe Elspeth will change so soon…” he stroked her skin. “I missed ye with me last night.”
Her hands rested on his, and her eyes slipped close, “I ken, Evan, I missed you too but…” her eyes opened, and a strong determination was in them, “but I choose to believe that she is changing, and I want to be there when she does.”
She tried to pull away, but he held on, “Freya, please, take precaution. I’d be heartbroken for ye if she takes yer trust and throws it away.”
Freya lips flattened, but instead of saying something, she pressed forward and kissed him, a mere meeting of their mouths, but it was more than he had expected.
“I’ll see ye at Yuletide, Evan,” she whispered, “Come see me when ye can.”
She slipped out of his hold and went up the stairs. Lingering at the entranceway, he waited till they came back down and saw them to the carriage. The snow was moderately thick, but not enough that he thought would block the roadways. He shook the Laird’s hand and embraced Freya. To the Lady and Elspeth, he gave them his best wishes and stood apart when they entered the carriage and rode off.
He stood there, staring at the snow filling in the grooves the carriage’s wheels had left behind. His mother’s hand rested on his arm, and he twisted to see her.
“It pains ye to see her leave, aye?”
“Immensely,” Evan said, rubbing his tired eyes, “more than I had expected.”
“Yer Faither would look at me the same way ye are looking out for Freya now,” she added, “ ‘Tis a mark of yer love for her, Son. And I’m proud of ye for choosing such a lovely, gentle lady to be your wife.”
Turning away from the door, he nodded, “Aye, I do too.”
He then rubbed his chest, right over his heart, not sure why there was a deep lingering ache resting there. Evan still did not feel settled with Elspeth, cozying up to Freya. Perhaps she was doing right by her sister…but he doubted it.
* * *
Still tormented by the pain she had seen in Evan’s eyes when they had parted, Freya kept silent on the way back to the Lobhdain Lairdship. She heard the chatter between her mother and Elspeth about the spring wedding, but she kept agonizing that she had made a mistake.
Should I have stayed with him last night?
Evan was strident that Elspeth was not changing, but Freya could see the effort her sister was putting in to not cling to her old ways. She slipped here and there, but she could see that Elspeth was getting more conscientious of those around her. She had to believe it even if Evan did not.
“Freya?” Lady Grace nudged her.
Blinking, Freya attempted to smile, but it dropped short. Clearing her throat, she asked, “Pardon?”
Lady Grace was sympathetic, “Yer mind is back with Laird Lobhdain, eh?”
