Page 24 of The Highlander's Inconvenient Wife
Joan felt awestruck by the amount of wisdom she saw in the older woman’s eyes. Their conversations suddenly made her miss her own mother and the relationship that they had back in London. She hoped that her mother would understand and had not been too hurt when she had realized that Joan had run away.
Her parents had been very understanding about what happened. They knew that it wasn’t her fault, but a scandal is a scandal, and the only conceivable way out of her situation was for them to agree to the marriage.
“Things may happen in life that we feel we must uproot and get rid of,” Martha continued to share her wisdom. “But those things can make us stronger people if we cultivate them in the right manner,” she said with a warm smile. “Bad situations can lead to bigger blessings if we only shine the right kind of light on them.” She winked at Joan.
“I’ve heard that what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger,” Joan replied, but she couldn’t muster the courage to see a bright light in her own dark situation. No matter how she sliced the cake, she was still betrothed to a fortune seeking baron.
“To a certain extent,” Martha said and laughed. “There are certain poisons that will only leave ye weaker, but that’s an entirely different conversation.” She shook her head as if she were trying to get back on track. “What I actually wanted to say was that ye need to be patient where Jasper is concerned. He disnae ken any other way to keep his family safe, I’m afraid. I ken that it may seem like maithers interfere too much, but sometimes tough decisions need to be made. Ye will understand when ye have bairns of yer own.”
“I know it can’t be easy.” Joan’s mind wandered back to her own parents and the decision they made when the baron had offered to marry her.
“Being a maither was quite an eyeopener,” Martha sighed. “But then again, I was only a lass when I had Jasper. Seventeen is too young to take on the responsibilities of maitherhood if ye ask me. I barely knew how to be a wife, let alone a maither.”
“Seventeen — that must have been quite an adjustment for you,” Joan said in shock as she once again examined the woman’s youthful appearance. It was no wonder that the woman still looked so young. It wasn’t unheard of for girls to marry as young as sixteen, but the ideal age for marriage, by London’s standards at least, was twenty-one. Joan couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been to marry when you were still finding your feet in the world.
“Aye, I dinnae wish to marry, but me maither an’ faither arranged the marriage to a wealthy laird that would ensure their safety.” She seemed thoughtful for a moment as she chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s nae that I wish Jasper to marry when he’s nae ready, but I would like to see him happy with someone ‘afore me time comes,” she laughed. “An’ of course, I wish to see me grandbairns.”
Joan felt herself blushing despite her best efforts; it wasn’t as if Martha has asked her to marry her son or even hinted at the possibility, yet her mind had automatically gone in that direction.
What if he finds someone else to marry?
A sudden inexplicable pang of jealousy overtook her emotions. The thought of Jasper kissing anyone else the way that he had kissed her made her more uncomfortable than she cared to admit.
Why do I feel this way about him?
It wasn’t as if there was a possibility that they could be together.
And why can’t we be together?
She found herself struggling with her own internal dialogue. The man had not only thrown her in his dungeon upon their first meeting, but he had also commented on the fact that she was English as if that somehow reflected badly on her character. Yet there had been that kiss; she could still feel her lips tingling as if had happened only moments prior. The kiss had moved the earth beneath her feet and had left her wanting more. More of his kisses and more of him.
“Is everything all right, dear?”
Joan shook her head as Martha’s voice drew her back to the present and their conversation.
“Ye seemed to drift off there in yer own thoughts. Is something troubling ye?” she gently probed. Her voice was filled with concern as she tilted her head to the side.
“No,” Joan smiled. “I just got a bit lost in thought thinking of my own mother.” She bent the truth slightly to hide the fact that she had been thinking of Jasper.
“Ye must miss her terribly,” Martha said sympathetically.
“I do, but I think I’m also just a bit tired,” she tried to divert the conversation again to keep the woman from asking too many questions that she didn’t want to answer.
“I guess we have been out here for a while,” Martha remarked kindly as she wiped her hands together in an attempt to remove the dirt. “We should go inside an’ have a cup of tea. It’s been a long afternoon, an’ tomorrow is another day.”
Joan stood and helped Martha gather all of the things they had used to clean the garden. Her mind was full of thoughts that she didn’t quite know how to process. The most troubling part of all was the fact that her heart was just as confused. There was something about the thought of Jasper marrying someone else that unsettled her greatly, but did that mean she wanted to be with him?
And what exactly had happened in the past that left him feeling as if he had to protect himself as well his family from the outside world?
She looked around at the high walls of the castle that kept the rest of the world at bay with the inhabitants safely inside. Much like the laird, Castle MacShaw had developed a self-sustaining way of life that kept outsiders from looking in.
Joan decided to push the matter aside and focus on things that were a possibility. Avery and Darragh would hopefully be coming for her in just a few days’ time, and she could then leave all of this madness and confusion behind as she focused on what to do next.
13
Edwin Grandison stepped from the carriage, his neat black boots squelching in the mud as he turned up his nose in disgust. He second-guessed his own decision of coming himself and not sending a man in his place. It had taken him long enough to finally discover that Joan had friends in Scotland, and he hadn’t wanted to waste any more time.
Her parents had denied that they knew where she had gone, but he knew better than to trust anyone of a higher rank. The ton often despised those who weren’t as wealthy as the upper classes, but he had a plan to fix all of that. Once he married Joan, nobody would ever have the right to look down on him ever again.
