Page 37 of The Highlander's Twisted Deal
Callum glanced over at the sleeping figure beside him. The box bed was large enough for two, but only just. Ava’s ankles were tangled around his, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to reach over and drape his arm over her waist.
She had her back to him, one pale shoulder jutting above the covers, her vibrant hair spread out over the pillows. She was still asleep, breathing regularly and deeply. Last night had passed in a blur of pleasure of breathlessness, and Callum couldn’t stop replaying key moments in his head.
He suspected that night would haunt him for a long time.
I could lean over and kiss the top of her shoulder. Wake her up. She’d smile at me, sleepy, and mumble something about sleeping well. I’d say something funny back to her, make her laugh. It would be the easiest thing in the world.
No.
Rolling over as slowly and carefully as he could, Callum climbed out of bed. He was careful not to shake the bed or let any cold air seep in under the covers. The floor was icy cold under his bare feet, sending goose-pimples skittering over his skin.
Suppressing a shiver, Callum dressed quickly, pulling on the same clothes from last night. He would get the horse and cart ready as soon as possible. He couldn’t leave without Ava, of course, but as soon as she was up, he wanted to go back to the Keep.
I’ve been here too long.
Ava sighed in her sleep, stirring, and Callum froze, terrified that she was going to wake up, roll over, and look at him.
Oh, they’d have to have the conversation sooner or later, he knew that. Callum wasn’t going to tell her the truth. He couldn’t. It was too shameful to admit to anyone. It was better not to admit it to himself, even.
I willnae condemn her to a life with me.
Callum viciously tightened his belt around his waist.
She cannae understand, and I willnae make her.
Taking one last look over his shoulder at the sleeping Ava, he slipped outside.
In villages like this, the central point of the community was the square in the middle. A fire would burn there during the night, and this was where the community would gather for celebrations, songs, music, and food.
There were signs of last night’s celebrations—the brazier still smoldering, there were bones littered around from the food, and an abandoned fiddle was left on an upturned tree stump.
In the middle of it all sat Tammy, yawning, picking at a bowl of porridge. He glanced over his shoulder at Callum and smiled tiredly. “Morning, Me Laird. Did ye sleep well?”
“What?” Callum responded sharply. “What do ye mean by that?”
Tammy stared at him, bewildered. “Well, I ken ye were in Arthur’s hut, and he’s complained of drafts a wee bit lately… What did ye think I meant?”
“Nothing,” Callum said quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It was kind of him to let us stay there. Kind of all of ye.”
Of course, Tammy wasn’t making a snide comment about the night he’d spent with Ava. Of course not. Not only was the poor young man distracted by his wife and new baby, but betrothed couples sharing a bed was entirely normal here. He and Brigit had lived together for at least a year before she fell pregnant, and they only bothered to marry a few months before the babe was born.
Stop being so prickly.Best if ye forget all of this.
Tammy didn’t seem offended. He shuffled up on the log he was sitting on, gesturing for Callum to sit beside him. “Have ye seen the babe this morning?” he asked, excitement simmering in his voice. “She’s the most beautiful wee thing that I’ve ever seen. Brigit’s already talking about the other babes we’ll have. For meself, I’m happy to stick to one. She’s braver than I am.” He sighed, shuddering. “I’ll have nightmares about that birth for years to come, I think.”
Callum lifted an eyebrow. “Did ye nae ken how babies are born?”
“Oh, aye. I’ve seen animals born plenty of times. But when it was me own Brigit in such pain, and there was nothing I could do…” Tammy trailed off, shaking his head. “It made me ill. I wanted so badly to help, to take evensomeof her pain. We’ve always shared everything, ye ken. Easiest thing in the world. But with the childbirth, I’ve never seen her in such pain. We thought she would die, and there I was, helpless to do a single thing. It was awful. I’m afraid of losing her, I suppose. Our wee babe—Violet, we’re going to call her—she was worth the risk, but what if next time there’s nay Arthur to help, nay Lady Ava to come to the rescue? It’s unbearable to think about.”
A moment of silence fell between the men. Callum wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He’d seen the grim, white fear on Tammy’s face last night when Brigit was howling and screaming in pain like a dying animal. He’d felt the undercurrent of panic, the helplessness coming from her male family members.
“But ye dinnae need me to tell ye that,” Tammy continued conversationally. “I daresay ye feel the same about yer Lady Ava. Fear of losing her, eh? Anyone can see how ye feel about her from the way ye look at her. Me ma always said that women are stronger than men, and I’ve never seen it more than now. I think I can argue Brigit down to one more babe, and we’ll leave it there. How many babes does Lady Ava want?”
Callum got abruptly to his feet. “I have nay idea.”
Tammy continued talking about Brigit and babies and fear, oblivious to Callum’s tenseness. He finally trailed off when Arthur made his appearance, ducking out through the entranceway to Tammy and Brigit’s hut.
“Morning, My Laird,” Arthur said crisply. “Is Lady Ava still abed?”
