Page 42 of The Icy Highlander's Bride
"I daenae want to fight," Lana said, eager to calm him down. "That is the first thing for ye to realize."
Her words seemed to have their effect because Daniel didn't respond right away. Instead, she heard the heavy breath he let out. She took this as a sign to continue.
"I want to be happy," Lana said, though she suddenly worried the words sounded small and naive. "I want to live with someone who enjoys seeing me every day. And I want to ken that someone will look out for me, nay matter what."
"And that is love?" Daniel asked. She didn't miss the skepticism in his voice.
"Tell me," Lana asked, "how can ye ken love is so bad if ye have never felt it?"
Daniel was quiet for a long time. So long that she wondered if he would ever answer at all. She couldn't keep from glancing over her shoulder to look at him. She caught him staring ahead, lost in his thoughts. Her movement pulled him out of this reverie, and his introspective expression turned into a scowl.
"How do ye ken love is good if ye have never felt it?"
They were back at the same argument. Lana turned back to the road, watching where they were heading. It was growing darker around them, and she was carefully watching for any obstructions in the road that might injure his horse.
"I daenae ken," she admitted. "But I want the chance to find out. It's unfair of ye to deprive me of that."
"Do I need to remind ye that ye chose me?" Daniel asked.
Lana rolled her eyes. "Aye, ye love to remind me of it," she huffed. "Ye mean to tell me I only have meself to blame for this. It's me own fault that I will never find love. Is that what ye mean?"
"I am nae depriving ye of love," Daniel snapped. "It is cruel of ye to keep saying it."
"No? Then ye willnae stop me if I find someone else to love?"
"What do ye mean?" he asked.
Lana heard the darkness in his voice, but she decided to press on. This was her life, after all, and it was time she understood exactly what her future might look like.
"A lover," she clarified, though she didn't know if she had ever said these words before. "If I find a man who loves me properly, ye willnae stand in our way?"
The air around her felt charged as she waited for a response. She tried to keep her breath steady, though her heart pounded in her ears. She suddenly worried that she had taken things too far. What if Daniel had enough of her? What if her boldness was enough to make him reconsider their impending union? Would he send her back home?
In the silence, Lana contemplated what this might look like. What if Daniel decided to call all of this off and let her find someone else to love? She thought of Skye twirling with joy in the clothing store. She had only known the little girl for a few days, but she didn't want to leave her.
But the thing that struck her most strongly, the thing that was most surprising, was that Lana couldn't imagine never seeing Daniel again. The very thought of it was almost too much to bear. The realization sent her reeling.
"Very well."
Daniel's words jolted her out of her thoughts. Lana struggled to remember what she had asked him about.
A lover. Ye asked him about taking a lover.
"I told ye I needed a woman to raise me child. That is all that matters to me. If ye need someone else tolove, as ye say, then ye have me permission."
There it was. The permission Lana was seeking. Her dreams of love didn't have to disappear when she got married.
The confusing thing, the part that she couldn't yet figure out, was that she did not feel happy about his consent. As she thought about finding someone else and leaving Daniel to his solitude, Lana felt nothing but despair.
18
Daniel stared out his window at the garden below. He watched his daughter run through the rows of flowers, but as he caught sight of Lana, an unthinkable rage overtook him.
Since their little detour the previous day, he couldn't stop thinking of her talk of taking a lover. The idea of another man touching what belonged to him made his hands itch to grab his sword. He wanted to kill the hypothetical man she dreamed of.
"Daenae look so gloomy," Cameron said, joining him at the window. "Ye should be happy yer daughter likes yer wife. Nay evil stepmaither to worry about."
"Aye," Daniel uttered, his voice far too dark and angry.
