Page 38 of Highlander of Steel
Unconvinced, she nestled back into the comforting heat of him, hoping that if she stayed there long enough in perfect stillness and silence, he would forget all about teaching her to swim.
14
“Icannae do it!” Ailis protested. “I simply wasnae made to float!”
A soft sound that might have been a chuckle rumbled in Killian’s chest, but she couldn’t see his face to see if she was right. Her eyes were squeezed shut to stop the saltwater from splashing into them and bringing back her nightmare.
“Everyone can float,” he insisted. “Ye’re already halfway there; ye just need to spread yer legs a bit.”
At that, she spluttered and began to sink like a stone.
Killian’s strong hands underneath her prevented her head from going under, lifting her by her neck and the small of her back. She flailed regardless, knowing he wouldn’t let her drown, but still too afraid of having her face under the water to be able to develop rational thought.
They had come to learn, together, that that was the part of her fear that she couldn’t yet overcome: the sensation of water over her head, preventing her from breathing. It didn’t matter if the surface was just half an inch away; her visceral reaction was the same.
In her nightmare, that was always the worst part—not being able to breathe. Of course, there was panic in kicking and swimming as hard as she could, but it was the water filling her mouth and nose that scared her the most.
“Nae bad at all,” Killian said as he tipped her upright.
Standing in front of him, breathing hard and wiping the water from her face, she knew she had come a long way already. If someone had told her that morning that she would soon be floating in the sea without feeling like she might die of fear, she would have laughed.
“But I sank,” she protested.
He shrugged. “It was yer first time learnin’. And ye only sank half the time. The rest, I wasnae even helpin’. I just had me hands underneath ye, in case.”
She knew it was true. A few times, she had felt the comforting press of his palms against her skin drift away. It had made her heart beat quicker each time and her blood pound in her veins, but just knowingthat he would catch her again had kept her from panicking too much.
“That’s the thing,” she said quietly, moving instinctively into his body for warmth. “I daenae ken if that wasme first time learnin’ how to swim.”
He brushed a damp lock of hair from her face. “What do ye mean?”
“In me nightmare… I’m always swimmin’,” she replied hesitantly. “I’m in a cove like this, and I’m… swimmin’ for me life. But I’m nae gettin’ anywhere, and the sea starts to cover me… and I cannae breathe… and…”
Just the memory of her dreams threatened to unravel the progress she had made.
Perhaps sensing it, Killian wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him, his other hand coming up to cradle the back of her neck. Holding her almost as he had been holding her in the water.
“I’m here,” he said softly. “Ye’re nae in yer nightmare. Ye’re in the sea with me, and ye’re safe, and ye daenae need to swim to shore. Ye can walk there, or I can carry ye. Ye’re safe, lass.”
Tightly gripping his arms as he held her, Ailis focused on the steady rhythm of his breathing, letting him anchor her once more. If she was hurting him by digging her fingernails into his flesh, he didn’t mention it. He just stood there with her, allowing her to do whatever she needed to overcome the wave of fear.
Soon enough, however, she found herself focusing a little toomuch on the sound of his breathing. It was shallower than earlier, as if he had been running, the quickened rhythm of it quickening the rhythm of hers.
In all her life, she had never been so awareof someone—the gooseflesh across his arms, the bob of his throat, the salt on his skin, the intensity of his blue gaze as he searched her face to make sure she was all right; the way his hand splayed at the nape of her neck, his fingers barelysliding into her hair; the way his hand rested on the curve of her hip. And those short breaths that did something peculiar to her, stirring up sparks that warmed her from within.
Slowly, she tilted her head up to meet his searching gaze.
“Are ye cold again?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Then why are ye tremblin’?”
She smoothed her palm up his shoulder and down to his heart, feeling the quicker beat of it against her hand. “I daenae ken,” she whispered.
“Are ye scared?”
Swallowing thickly, she shook her head again. “I likely should be, but… nay.”
