Page 12 of Promise Me This Christmas
“Did he…hurt you?”This was something Carson had never considered.His heart had been broken when Larkin showed up at their graduation dance with Andrew the next night.He’d chosen not to notice how miserable Larkin looked.Or how she and Andrew had disappeared near the end, and then only Andrew had showed up at the after-party.It had taken him weeks to cool off enough to reach out to Larkin.Only by then she was already in Denver, staying with a friend of her mother’s and working at some clerical job to save money for college.
Or that was the story her mother had told him.She’d also asked him to leave Larkin alone.She doesn’t want to talk to you.
He’d been angry and hurt and so he’d done as requested.He’d gone to Missoula for college, and four years later, returned home to work on the ranch.It was only in the last few years that he’d realized he wasn’t really happy.He started relationships with women who were attractive and friendly, but he’d soon lost interest.
“It’s kind of late for you to be asking that question.”
Despite his warm jacket, Carson suddenly felt cold.“That kiss I saw…”
“He grabbed me and just glommed onto me.It was disgusting.”
He wanted to deny this.But his gut told him she was speaking the truth, and her words were an indictment.Not just of Andrew.But of him.
“Instead of coming to your aid, I lashed out at you.”His jealousy had blinded him.But what kind of lame excuse was that?“I broke up with you, right in front of all our friends.”
“Yeah.”
“What an ass I was.”Why had he been so stupid?So hot-headed.If only he’d given her a chance to explain, he would have understood that the person he should have been angry with was Andrew.
“I agreed to go to our prom dance with Andrew because I was so furious with you.But I soon realized it was a terrible mistake.After a few hours I asked him to take me home.But he didn’t.He drove down an old farm access road and…well, I’m sure you can figure out what happened.”In the faint light from the moon he saw her mouth set in a grim line.
“Goddamn Andrew.I wish I’d known.I’m so sorry, Lark.”He wanted to fold her into his arms.But she wasn’t his girl anymore.Hadn’t been for a long time.At least now he understood why she’d been so cold and withdrawn.
“I thought you knew what Andrew was up to.That you just didn’t care.”
“Hell no!You have to believe me.If I’d known, I would have beaten the crap out of him.And then gone to the cops.”He hesitated as he pondered that idea.“Did you tell your parents what happened?”
She shook her head.“I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I still felt ashamed.I couldn’t bear to tell my parents, let alone go to the authorities.My mom thought the reason I wanted to leave town fast was because of our breakup.She had no idea what that pig did.”
“He should have paid for his crime.”
“I know.It worries me that he could have hurt other girls, not just me.”
“He’s married now, works in the tech business.”They didn’t keep in touch, but his mother knew Andrew’s mother, so he heard the occasional bit of news.
“I hope he treats his wife okay.”
“I haven’t heard of any problems from my mother.”He glanced at the scene before them.They’d wandered into a Christmas lighting display.People bundled in winter coats and hats and scarves were strolling on both sides of the street, exclaiming over the beautiful holiday scenes.A group of teenagers rushed past them, their voices and laughter carried in the crisp winter air.
He watched for a few minutes, feeling wistful.“Doesn’t seem that long ago that we were the kids staying out late and having fun.”
“Really?To me those days feel like another world.”Larkin stamped her feet to keep out the cold.“We should head back.”
Carson felt like he could keep walking all night, as long as she was by his side.But he also needed time to mull over what she’d told him.He’d lost nine years due to his teenaged stupidity.Nine years with Lark believing that not only had he failed to protect her, but he’d also actually been okay with what Andrew had done.
His heart felt heavy as they retraced their steps back to Bramble House.He hated to think of teenaged Lark, alone and wounded, with no one to protect her and no one to comfort her.More than ever, he wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she was careful to keep a safe distance between them.She was no longer a teenager but a grown woman, used to navigating the world alone.
She didn’t speak, didn’t even look his way, until they reached the driveway of the bed and breakfast.This was where they parted ways, him to the loft over the garage and her to the house.
“I wish we’d had this talk nine years ago,” he said.
“But we didn’t.And we can’t change that.Let’s just turn the page, okay?”
Turn the page to what?A new beginning?Much as he wanted this, he doubted that was what she meant.He reached for her hands, but she shook her head.
“Goodnight, Carson.”
And like that, she was gone.
