Page 44 of Flirtasaurus
Aaaand we’re back where we started. Me trapped inside a tiny, tight little space, while he and his beautiful face and voice and—let’s face it—his expansive, open, out of this world personality is on the other side.
I am one hell of a smooth operator, huh?
Yup. Smooth. As. Hell.
Chapter Ten
“You mean they’re all dead? All of them?” Oliver’s little eyes well with tears as he looks up at me.
Dino Diggers Day Two is in full swing, and I already have a devastated child to deal with.
“It makes me feel sad too, Oliver. But yes, the dinosaurs are all gone.” I try breaking it to him gently.
“Duh, Oliver, how did you not know that?” Firecracker Finn pops in. “Think about it! Do you ever see a triceratops walking down the street?”
“No! But I don’t see lions walking down the street, either, because they live in Africa! So I thought maybe the dinosaurs live in Africa too!”
“What? That’s the stu—”
I jump in before Finn can say anything else. “I can see where you might think that, Oliver, but you won’t find dinosaurs anywhere on any continent anymore except for bones and fossils because they’re extinct.”
Apparently, we’re blowing this little guy’s young mind. It’s both sad and adorable.
“I didn’t know that’s what esstink meant! I thought esstink meant they were super smelly like a skunk!”
“My Dalmatian, Cruella, got sprayed by a skunk last summer,” Holden pipes in. “My daddy gave her a tomato juice bath and said a lot of curse words.”
“Oliver!Extinctmeans dead, dead, dead forever, dummy!”
Ugh. Finn.
“That’s enough, Finn. We don’t call our friends dummies.”
“My Pop-Pop is dead, dead, dead forever too,” Oliver says. I see the gears in his little head turning. “That means I have an esstink Pop-Pop!” And then he starts to cry even harder.
Good lord, why don’t I have an assistant for this?
“Actually,” little Harper offers, “death is just an illusion. The only thing that exists is a series of eternal nows.”
What kind of crack are this girl’s parents smoking?
I’m grateful for Harper’s New Age mumbo jumbo, though. We’re all so confused by her non sequitur that all crying and whining and teasing cease for a moment.
“Guys?”
Harper gives me what after just two days I know is her woke look.
“I apologize.Diggers?”
She nods in acceptance of my gender-neutral adjustment.
Just then, Ralph walks into the atrium, clearly on his way to the planetarium. My face immediately starts to heat. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since I kicked him out of my apartment last night. I mean, I don’t even have his number, do I? Should I say something to him? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to behave.
“Hey everybody, this is Ralph! Ralph killed the dinosaurs!”
Well, that was certainly a choice, Calliope.
The children immediately explode into chaos.
