Page 6 of Flirtasaurus
“Oh, you’re never supposed to press ALL the buttons.”
“I know that! I know!” I squeal from inside the elevator.
EEEENG! EEEENG! EEEENG!
Hey, uh…gosh, I don’t even know your name. What’s your name?”
“Calliope!”
“What-uh-pee?”
“Calliope!”
EEEENG! EEEENG! EEEENG!
“What-uh-pee?”
“Stop saying what-uh-pee!”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the alarm. But the firemen are here to get you out!”
“What?”
“The firemen are going to get you out!”
“Sir, you really need to evacuate immediately.”
“Dude, I get it. I get it. They’re making me evacuate immediately! So, I’ll, uh, I’ll meet you outside on the front lawn, okay?”
EEEENG! EEEENG! EEEENG!
“By the young fawn!?”
“Yup, on the front lawn! Oh, and my name is Ralph!”
“Your name is Alf?”
“Ralph!”
“Alf?”
“Yup, Ralph!
EEEENG! EEEENG! EEEENG!
“I’ll meet you on the front lawn. It’s been, uh… I’ve really, uh… You seem like a such a—”
“Alright, that’s enough. Out of our way, Romeo.”
The next thing I know, the doors are being pried open, a fireman in full bunker gear is staring at me with his hand outstretched, and the snarky jollyman with the rumbly voice is nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Two
Well, whaddaya know. I waited for him for a full thirty minutes and “Alf”, the elevator man, never showed. What a doof. Why tell me to meet you and then pull a no-show? Maybe I heard him wrong? Maybe the place where I waited was wrong? Nah. It looks like I just plain read our chemistry wrong.
Chemistry was never my thing. Whatever. I shake it off like a one-woman Taylor Swift anthem.
Now, don’t go rolling your eyes at my mention of Tay-Tay. I was judgy about her too until I watched herMiss Americanadocumentary a few months ago. And now? Now, I want to sip sauvignon blanc with Miss Swift and tell her all my secrets forever. We ladies have to build each other up, don’t you think? Instead of tearing each other down? Hell yeah, we do.
