Page 69 of Flirtasaurus
That’s exactly what I was hoping he’d say.
Before heading out, I squat down to check Otto’s latest drawing, like I always do. “Oh, Otto, she’s beautiful!” I reach for his book to look closer, but he holds it out of my reach.
“Eh. Hold on one sec, kid. Just gotta shave a little bone off the tail here…”
Otto’s eraser does some quick work, then he blows the little rubbery shavings off the page in one big puff… right into my face.
I start coughing. And coughing and coughing.
“You okay, kid?” Otto peers into my eyes with concern but makes an obvious effort not to touch me.
“Fine, yeah! Badly.” I choke. “Timed.” I choke. “Inhale.” I choke. “It’ll pass. I just… need…”
“What do you need, Callie? What do you need?” Ralph shifts into rescuer mode.
“I need a sip of something,” I croak and wheeze.
“I don’t have any water. Anyone have some water!?” Now Otto’s shouting, and we’re surely going to create a scene.
“Gimme your tea, Otto!” I sputter out repeatedly between hacks, but get this… the bastard holds it out of my reach!
“I’m sorry, kid, but I can’t let you—”
“Dude, this is not the time to be a germaphobe. Give her a sip!” Ralph scolds.
“I can’t!” Otto looks panicked.
“Why the hell not?” I continue to wheeze.
“Just… trust me!” he hisses.
Since there clearly aren’t any actual knights in shining armor in this world, I decide to save my damn self, and I summon the absolute only skill I ever possessed on the elementary school basketball court—my killer high jump. As I spring up to meet Otto’s thermos squeezed high over his head, I’m able to bat the bottle to the floor, pick it up, and bring it to my mouth before he even knows what—or who—hit him.
“Oh, kid! You don’t want to drink that!” His words rush out.
Glug, glug, glug.
“Aaaaand... you’re drinking it. Shit. Oh, Goddammit.”
I gulp it down like my life depends on it because at this moment, it feels like it does. And thank you Jesus, the hacking stops as I chug.
Cue my sigh of relief and the blessed sound of silence.
“Thank you, Otto. I know that was incredibly rude of me, but… holy shit on a brick, what the fuck did I just drink?”
The aftertaste swirling in my mouth is nothing short of heinous.
“It’s… tea,” Otto says with a wince.
“Tea from where? Hell?!? Ugh!” I start using the sleeve of my sweatshirt in an attempt to windshield-wipe the taste off my tongue. It doesn’t work, though, and I just look insane.
“Otto? Level with us,” Ralph says, looking like he knows something I don’t know.
“Alright. Everybody relax,” Otto whisper yells. “It’s… elevated tea.”
“What the hell is elevated tea?” I ask.
“Enlightened tea? Uh… medicinal, if you will?”
