Page 84 of Flirtasaurus
I bound up the steps toward her like an enthusiastic puppy.
“Oh, I—”
I don’t wait for her response before throwing my arms around her.
“You’re… very welcome,” she says as stoic as ever before extricating herself from my embrace and smoothing her blazer. “Have a lovely Sunday, Miss FitzGerald.”
“You too, Dr. Knowles,” I beam at her. I can’t help it.
I watch her enter the building, all class and grace and magnificence.
Well, what do you know? Suddenly, my Goddamn dreams are coming true.
Chapter Eighteen
“Oooh, turn it up, turn it up!”
He turns the volume dial, and the car fills with the sweet explicit sounds of Puff Daddy. I can’t help the immediate groove that overtakes me.
“You’re in a much better mood now,” Ralph says, sounding pleasantly surprised.
“I’m in a good mood every day.”
“Not so much this morning. You seemed pretty freaked out.”
“I’m sorry about that. The tea left me with a bit of a headache. I took a shower and a nap, and I feel much better now.”
“Good.” He watches me while I continue to car dance. “What the hell is this music, by the way?”
“‘Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down’ by Puff Daddy, featuring Mase!” I say like it should be obvious. “It’s my life’s theme song!”
“Okay…”
“Listen to those words. Terrible grammar, but a gorgeous message. Also, I just have mad respect for The Puff. Can you imagine if every few years you were like ‘You know what? I’m changing my name. Now you have to call me The Ralphinator.’ Then two months later, you say, ‘No actually, ef that! Now my name is Ralphalpha, suckas!’ But whether he’s going by Puffy Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, Love, Brother Love, or straight-up Sean Combs, that there is a guy who’s not afraid to tell the world how he wants to be seen and how he deserves to be treated. Am I right?”
“Sure, yeah. Is that why it’s your life’s theme song? Because of Puff Daddy’s steadfast self-awareness and willingness to tell the world what he wants?”
“That’s a nice bonus, but nah. It’s because it was number one on the Billboard charts the day I was born. That’s your life’s theme song.”
“According to whom?”
“Nice use of whom.”
“I thank you. According to whom?”
“All those social media posts going around!”
“Oh, I don’t do social media.”
“What? No social media? None?”
“None.”
“Damn. You’re one of those guys?”
“I guess I am.”
“Don’t you feel disconnected?”
