Page 107 of Flirtasaurus
“The Volvo! Sorry. TheVolvoon the left!”
“Oh, I know which car is his. I was under the hood of that clunker last night.”
“Dad!”
“What?” he says with absolutely zero remorse.
“How? Why?”
“Last night, when you all thought I was taking a post-dinner deuce, I was actually in the driveway checking out what ole Ralphie is working with here.”
“Dad. That’s a little invasive, don’t you think?
“Hey, the kid is a sweetheart and obviously a very intelligent guy, but he’s driving my baby girl around in a lemon and clearly knows shit about cars, so I make no apologies. I only wish I’d given his ‘vulva’ a proper tune-up last night before it had a chance to break down. Hehe.”
“Gross, Dad.”
“Hey, you said it, not me.”
“Fair.”
“I brought everything we need to get things running again.”
He says this as he opens the trunk of his own “clunker,” hauls out a car battery, some oil, coolant, and various other things that are completely foreign to me and starts handing them to me to hold.
I just stare at him, surprised and impressed, my arms full of the items that are apparently necessary to revive Ralph’s car.
He grins. “Your mother gets on me for the mess in the garage, but no one can say I’m not ready in the event of a vehicular emergency.”
Dad opens Ralph’s hood and gets to business. I act as his trusty helper, handing him what he needs when he needs it.
We work in silence for a few minutes until he surprises the hell out of me.
“You, uh—” He looks like he’s gathering courage for a moment and keeps his eyes on the car, working while he speaks. “You know we love you, don’t you, kid?”
“Of course, Dad. I love you too.”
“And we’re proud as hell of you. For all of your accomplishments, sure. Even though we don’t always understand what you do, that doesn’t take an ounce away from how impressed we are that you’re doing it. But I’ll tell ya, we admire that fire and passion in you the most. We never cared much where you put it all, so long as it was a place where you feel happy and fulfilled. That big brain of yours has always wanted to learn more, more, more. You’ve been that way ever since you were a tiny baby. You know I’ve always found it tough to keep up with you? Yeah, even when you were two! I remember thinking, ‘If she gives me this kind of run for my money now, as a toddler, what the hell am I in for when she’s a teenager?’ I’ll be honest; I wasn’t looking forward to those years. I was scared you’d leave your ole dad in the dust and not want to talk to me anymore at some point. And sure, that happened from time to time, but you always came back to us and kept sharing yourself with us. And I was always so grateful for that. So don’t stop now, alright?”
“Alright.” I can barely get the word out because he’s got me so choked up.
“And for the record, your mother… Your mother is the most beautiful, fascinating creature God ever put on this planet. There are many different ways to be smart. And girl? You are missing out if you don’t soak up every bit of that woman’s brilliance. It may be different than yours, but it’s just as bright.”
“Ahem.” A throat clears, and I rise to see Ralph—fully dressed—standing beside us with both our bags. I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. “You okay?” he asks quietly and reaches a hand down to help me up. I take it.
“Fine, yeah. Dad here has been hard at work, getting you in tip-top shape.”
“Thanks so much, Ken. Really.”
“Don’t mention it, kid.”
“You got it running again?”
“Well, we’re about to find out!”
Dad tosses Ralph his key and gestures for him to hop in the front seat.
“Fire it up, baby.”
