Page 106 of Lovebug
Calliope is clearly undeterred by Cyndi’s judgment and waiting for an answer from me.
“Yes, I stayed on the call,” I say sheepishly.
“Wowza,” Louise says, still looking visibly sick.
“What can I say? I’m a good friend, and I generally don’t like to be rude.”
“Wowza indeed.” Calliope has the audacity to agree and then actually tsks me. “Well, listen, Mabel, my plan was for the three of us to quickly ambush you with sexy-time advice for your date, but apparently, you’re way sicker than I thought! Fantastic! I guess my work is done here! Go forth and be frisky, friend! Enter the bone zone!”
“There will be no frisking here tonight! I mean frisky-ing! I mean—”
They all start collectively laughing.
“I’m serious! I’m here for answers. For serious discussion. Not to enter the-the-the bone zone.”
More laughter.
“And for the record, I’m not sick. I’m supportive!” I yell.
“Am I interrupting something?”
I turn around to see Wally leaning in the open doorway, and all laughter from them and protests from me immediately stop. Holy smokes, he looks dreamy.
“Holy smokes, he looks dreamy,” Calliope says from my phone screen.
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” I say under my breath.
“What’s that?” he asks with a knowing smile on his lips.
“Nothing. Uh. Hi. I brought you a plant. Aspiderplant. Haha, get it? Because I’m into—”
“Can the bug jokes if you know what’s good for you!” Cyndi hisses.
“It’s, uh. It’s just a plant.” I plunk it in his hands.
“Thank you very much,” he says as he looks it over. It suddenly feels ridiculous handing this man a plant when his home is completely surrounded by, almost swallowed up by… plants.
”I was just wrapping up a call here, as you can see.”
“I can. Good evening, ladies.” He leans forward and salutes my friends.
“Hi, Wally,” they singsong in unison.
“Oh God, Ralph, you are effing magic,” Calliope croons.
“Bleh.” Lou lets out a faux retching sound.
“Enjoy the foot rub, Calliope,” Wally says and laughs.
Geez, how long has he been listening?
“Oh, I will, Wallace,” Calliope purrs. “And you two enjoy whatever kind of rubbing you embark on once you’re past your ‘serious conversation’…”
“Bye! See ya! Bye!” I immediately press End Call and drop the phone in my purse. Wally is staring at me in amusement. “They had to go,” I explain.
“Understood.” We stand a moment in silence on his doorstump. Oh, man. I was hoping this wouldn’t be awkward. But here it is. Super awkward. “You look beautiful,” he says.
“Oh. Thank you. You look… fine. I guess.” I shouldn’t give this guy too much too soon, right? After all, he has a lot of explaining to do.
