Page 14 of Lovebug
My eyes dart down to the sparkly ring on my finger.
Oh shoot, that reminds me. We have a team meeting later this afternoon. Is it terrible that I want to come up with an excuse not to go? Could I be sick? Sunburned?
My phone’s ringtone blares again. I pull it from my fanny pack and see it’s another video call from Calliope. I do a quick three-sixty scan to confirm that I am truly alone. All I see is a deer and her fawn about fifty feet away.
Hopefully, they won’t mind.
I accept the call.
“YOU GOT ENGAGED AND DIDN’T TELL ME?” she screeches the second her face appears on the screen.
“You’re screaming,” I state the obvious.
“Well, I’m shocked! And whatever. I’m out digging in a field by myself,” she explains at a normal volume. “I’m not bothering anyone. ALSO YOUR MAN’S NAME IS BERT?” she resumes the high decibels.
“Yes?” I answer. Shouldn’t she already know this very basic information?
“His name is Bert,” she repeats with her signature snark.
“Yes.”
“Bert!!?”
“Is our connection okay? Calliope, yes. His name is Bert. It’s short for Robert.”
“HIS FULL NAME IS ROBERT, AND HE WENT WITH THE NICKNAME BERT? WHAT IS HE, AN IDIOT??”
The deer and her fawn peacefully nibbling on a blackberry bush startle and scamper away. Sorry, friends.
“Okay, you have to stop,” I say. “You’re scaring the wildlife.” I turn down the volume on my phone a few notches.
“Well I’m just… astonished! Rob. Robby. Bob. Bobby. There were more than several ways to go, but your man? Your man went with Bert.” Her voice has dropped to a hush as though she just can’t believe this bit of information and needs a moment to process it.
“Nicknames aren’t usually chosen. They’re given.”
“That’s deep, Mabel.”
“Iamcapable of depth, Calliope,” I snap. “Despite what you or other people may think!”
Whoa. Where did that come from?
“Whoa!” Calliope marvels. “Where did that come from?”
“Nowhere. Sorry. Rough day I guess.”
“Do you have rough days?” Her head is cocked to the side as though she’s studying me.
“Of course I do. I’m human, aren’t I?”
“Actually, when I first met you, I wasn’t so sure that you were.” Calliope has an apologetic look on her face.
“What,human?” My voice goes up a few notches.
“Yeah!” She chuckles. “I’d never met someone so relentlessly positive before you pranced into my life. I have to admit, you freaked me out and made me feel a bit like a psycho hose beast.”
I look at her blankly.
“Wayne’s Worldreference?” Her eyebrows lift. “No?”
