Page 76 of Lovebug
“The male dragonfly is just supposed to fly away after his would-be mate’s descent. You did it wrong! But… thank you—I suppose—for trying to revive me.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Wait a second, what wereyoutalking about? You cheated on me?”
He is silent a moment.
“Mabey baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Cheated on me how, though?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like in Words with Friends? Fortnite? Candy Crush?”
“No…”
“Wait. Are you telling me you cheated on me with… sex?”
“Um. Yeah.”
“Well, how in the hell is that possible? Excuse my language, but from what I understand, you’re not very good at the sex!”
“Who told you I’m not good at ‘the sex?’” he practically squeals.
“Basically everyone I’ve described your moves to. Calliope, Cyndi, Louise, Wally…”
“Why have you been ‘describing my moves’ to people?” He freaks. “And who is Wally?”
“Wallace,” I say like it should be obvious. “The prospective team member I brought tonight?”
“You discussed our sex life with that cretin?!”
“Don’t call him a cretin!You’rea cretin! A cheatin’ cretin!”
I don’t know what gets into me at that moment, but I turn violent. I grab one of the way-too-thin Quality Inn pillows and start beating the heck out of him.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he says between pillow thwacks. “It won’t happen again.”
“Okay,” I breathe.
“Actually, that’s not true,” he says. “It probably will.”
“What?”
“Baby, I’m trying to build The Business.”
“With your penis?!”
“Well. Sort of. Yeah.”
“That’s how you ‘network’ on the weekends?!”
“If that’s what it takes, yeah.”
I hit him some more until I’m hit with a sudden flashback of the coffee shop last week.
“Oh my gosh. That is why the woman in the coffee shop ran off when she was introduced to me. That is why she said ‘he sure does likeLaw & Order, huh.’”
