Page 5 of Lovebug
“Any,” Doreen corrects with a frown.
“Hmm?” I ask after one of the few remaining bites of my entrée.
“Mabel, you haven’t broughtanypeople into your downline.”
“Right. You’re right. Yes. But I’m working on it, I promise!”
“Sweetheart.” Doreen’s voice lowers and warms. “Didn’t you tell me Abe and Helen needed you to help them financially after… the incident? Aren’t your parents worth putting in the extra effort? How is he doing, by the way?”
Oh God. She went there. There has been much talk in our little Philadelphia suburb about my father’s recent… incident. And there’s always that little… pause… before it. Always… the incident. But this is the first time it’s being used to make me feel guilty. Is that what she’s trying to do? Make me feel guilty? That’s sort of my general state of being, so whether that’s her intention or not, it really doesn’t take much. Here I am, feeling guilty.
“He’s doing much better, thank you, I just—”
“Still can’t work, though?” she interrupts me.
“It’s not that he can’t work. My mom just wants him to take some time off before finding something else.” I try to steer the conversation back to my delinquency in The Business. Surprisingly, I’m more comfortable talking about The Business than… the incident. “I have been working on gathering prospects. I’ve been finding, though, that people seem to get a little nervous when I bring up the subject and—”
“Well, then you’re not doing it right,” she says matter-of-factly, her stern but smiling business voice back in place. “Bert brought on five new team members this weekend alone.”
“Oh, really? Five!” I say, impressed. “Good for you, Bert Alert. I take it the networking event in Trenton was successful, huh?”
He clears his throat. “It was. Yep.”
“That’s awesome. I missed you this weekend, of course, but I’m proud of you, boo! You’ll have to give me some more tips!”
“Um. Yeah. I can do that.” He clears his throat again. “Sure.”
“Mabel,” Doreen continues. She’s on a mission, it seems. “You’re in a decidedly unfeminine field. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Entomology is unfeminine? Huh. I don’t know that I would categorize it as—”
“How many other women do you know who play with bugs all day?” she asks.
“Well, I wouldn’t say Iplaywith bugs all day.” I chuckle. “I study them. Their behavior, their rituals, mating habits… You are correct, though, that there are definitely more men in my field than women. but—”
“Exactly. And, as you know, The Business is launching a new line of products specifically for men, so we’d like you to recruit some of your male colleagues while you’re out in the mud together digging for worms.”
Wow, she really has no concept of what my job entails.
“Can you do that for us?” She says this with a continual nod as though she’s trying to hypnotize me.
I start to blubber. “Well, it’s camp season. You know I always take a leave from the museum in the summer to be full-time at the arboretum. And our camp staff is mostly female.”
She’s staring at me with a blank expression, so I continue.
“But! I’ll still be at the museum once a week guest lecturing—did I tell you we’re doing a special exhibit on grasshopper larvae?—so I cantryto approach some of my male colleagues there and see if they—”
“Do or do not. There is no try.” She cuts me off and hands me some flyers. “Here is some more information on the new masculine line and ten invitations to our product presentation next week. We’ll expect at least five of your… bug-men to attend.”
“Roger that. Thank you for these,” I say as I place the papers in my purse. “And ha! Yoda! Good one!” I give her a friendly smack on her upper back.
She massages the place on her body where I just made contact, and says, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“The quote you just said: ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’” I’m pretty proud of my Yoda impression, but Doreen just stares at me while Bert continues to shovel food—both his and mine—into his mouth.
“It’s fromStar Wars,” I explain. “Master Yoda?”
“Mabel, the only master I quote is myself.”
