Page 46 of Lovebug
Seems the drinks are getting to us all.
They all look at me. My turn, I guess.
“Oh. Um. My mom and I were… high? for Bill Nye?”
“The Science Guy?” Calliope squeals.
“Is there any other?”
“No disrespect meant to the great Professor Nye,” Calliope says. “But he’s not exactly known for his sex appeal.”
“WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT SEX?!??” I burst.
It’s at that moment that everything in the bar comes to a screeching halt.
Everything that is, except for the man in question at the bar. He turns at the sound of my voice—my way-too-loud voice—and looks right into me with those icy blue eyes.
And no, he’s not a “Hemsworthy” Thor. He’s not a bare-butted Brad on the beach in Troy.
He’s a Wally. I mean a Wallace.
And he’s making a beeline for our table.
Chapter Nine
“Mabel.” He nods in greeting.
“Wallace,” I respond.
He scans our table.
“Pyramid pals?” he asks, gesturing to my company.
“No. Just… friends,” I respond. “Calliope, Cyndi, Louise? This is my, um, this is… Wallace.”
“Hello, Wallace,” Calliope, Cyndi, and Louise say in unison and wave in wonder.
He salutes back to them.
“Nice to meet you, ladies. I’m Mabel’s manicure.”
“Sorry, Mabel’swhat?” Calliope asks. “I mean ‘fuck you,’ Mabel’s what?”
“Calliope!” I scold. “You haven’t solved this problem yet?”
“Forgive me for the ‘fuck you,’” Calliope addresses him. “I just think women use ‘sorry’ as an unnecessary filler way too much, so—”
“So you’re trying to find a suitable replacement for it,” Wallace finishes the thought for her. “No worries. ‘Fuck you’ is fine with me. I mean, let’s be real. Plenty of us men have a whole lot of fucking off to do before we can be deemed worthy of being with a wonderful woman.”
I can’t be certain, but I swear they collectively sigh.
“Mabel,” Cyndi says, sounding breathy and bewildered, “this man does your nails?”
“No! We work at the arboretum together. Besides, when have you ever known me to get my nails done?”
“Oh. He just said he was your manicure, so I thought…” Cyndi searches to make sense of this.
“I’m one of Mabel’s prospects.” He says this with a smirk. And let me tell you something. His smile? It’s beautiful. But his smirk? Completely maddening.
