Page 144 of Sharkbait
“Nothing.”
“Everyone is afraid of something.”
“Spiders. Home invasions. Creepy kids who talk about their past lives,” she snarks.
“Oh really? I love that creepy kid stuff. Iris told me once that she used to be an old brick mason in Palm Springs during the 1950s. Now every time I look at her, I want to call her Mort.”
She laughs through her tears. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “She told me her name used to be Mort.”
Her smile is brief, but it means everything to me.
It means there’s still hope.
I risk stepping forward and brush a tear off her cheek.
“You’re afraid that if you let yourself fall in love with me, you’ll lose yourself. Like you did when you were with Trent and with the guys before him. Like your mom does whenever she’s in a new relationship. But Lou?” She tilts her chin up so her blue eyes meet mine. “I promise you, I will never let that happen.”
I kiss her.
So softly.
Because I’m afraid of something too: That if I press too hard, she’ll step away from me.
Permanently.
“I’ll give you your space,” I say.
And then I walk away.
As I get in my car, I look east and see the sun rising higher and higher in the sky.
At that moment, it feels like a sign that despite how low I feel right now, everything will be okay.
Or maybe that’s the last I’ll ever see of her, and I really am that idiot “woo woo universe” guy.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Louise
I wake up in a cold sweat and turnto see two pairs of compound eyes staring at me.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I should really talk to someone about this.”
Is it weird that since returning to Mabel’s, I’ve found comfort in Bonnie and Clyde?
They’re always freakishly attentive to my sounds and movements, which has me feeling a little less alone this week. And Bonnie’s I-do-what-I-want-when-I-want attitude is helping me get out of my head and connect with whatIactually want and need. When Bonnie feels caged in? She literally finds the lock and frees herself. She apparently only does this when someone in the vicinity is having sex, but that’s neither here nor there.
Point is, if Bonnie is a bug and she can free herself, then so can I.
And Meilani’s doing it too. An actual shark ripped off her flipper, and how does Meilani respond? By learning to trust those around her, trying new things, and seizing unexpected opportunities.
Why are animals so much smarter than we are?
I fire off a text to my tried-and-true confidant, who I haven’t spoken to in way too long.
ME:The dreams have started up again. Oh and I broke up with refrigerator sex man, which I’m sure you would say is related. Gottime to talk?
