Page 66 of Sharkbait
Well, he’ll be waiting a long damn time.
Astronomy guy prattles on, “Don’t worry. We are in absolutely no danger. Black holes are kind of like hippopotamuses. Sure, they’ll mess you up if you wander into their mouths, but if you can avoid doing that, you’ll be just fine.”
“I’ll um—I’ll try to avoid that then,” I say while watching Ralph across the room, happily slapping backs and shaking hands. “Though you may not want to use hippos in your black hole analogy moving forward.”
“Oh no?”
“No. Hippopotamuses are aggressive and highly unpredictable animals. Studies have shown they kill over 430 humans every year. And believe me, those people didn’t wander into their mouths. Those hippos charged.”
“But they look so cute!”
“I assure you, they’re not. They can weigh upward of four tons, they have lower incisors that grow to over a foot and a half, and they will run eighteen miles per hour in your direction to chomp you dead in a single bite. Especially if they’re a mother and deem you a threat to their young.”
It’s at that moment, my own mother walks in, looking dressed to kill.
And kill she might when she realizes our dad is here.
I don’t want to be here to witness the fallout, so…
“It was nice talking to you…” I search my mind for his name, but for the life of me, I can’t remember it. “I gotta go.”
I turn and run smack into Ralph, who envelops me in a hug. “Hey, where you running off to?”
I don’t say anything. I answer by pressing my face into his shoulder and wrapping my arms around him.
“Just a sec,” Ralph whispers. “Ben!” he says to astronomy guy, who I’m sure I’ve completely freaked out with my dark hippoturn. “Thanks for coming! Cool if I catch up with you in a little bit? I need to talk to my sister alone for a minute.”
“Sure thing. Happy Birthday, Anderson. And nice to, uh—nice to meet you, Louise.”
Ralph releases me from the hug. “By the expression on your face, I thought you might have needed a break from Ben. He can be chatty.”
“Chatty is fine,” I say. “I don’t mind chatty.”
When I look across the room, another chatty guy I know is pouring drinks and sending me a confused smile.
Can’t blame James for being baffled by me.
One minute, he and I were connecting and sharing. The next? I hightailed it across the room like my ass was on fire.
“So you knew about this party?” Ralph asks.
“Uh… yeah.” I give him a look. “And you knew about this too, ya dork.”
He lowers his voice. “I did, but don’t tell Calliope. I know she worked hard to keep this a surprise.” Ralph beams at the room full of partygoers. “How cool is this, though? People from the museum are here, folks from grad school...”
“The guy who donated sperm to our mom…”
“What? Where?” Ralph’s head whips left and right.
I nod in the direction of the high-top tables, where dear old Dad is now sitting with a group of scientists, chatting up a storm, like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Did Calliope invite him?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“Then who did?
At that moment, the bar music fades, and a live drumbeat starts to pound.
