Page 46 of Bringing Home the Bacon
“Harsh, maybe,” he says. “But not untrue. Hello, everyone. I know these circumstances are a bit… nontraditional. And I can only assume that you are wondering what my intentions are toward your sister.” He looks at Gran. “And in your case, ma’am, your granddaughter.”
My brothers confirm his assumption to be true with their crossed arms and silence.
“Well, I can assure you all that I want nothing but the very best for Colleen. I’ll be the first to admit that we don’t know each other incredibly well yet. But I couldn’t be more excited to learn everything I possibly can about her.” He turns his attention directly to me now and softens his voice. “I don’t want you to feel an ounce of pressure, Colleen. But I need you to know I’m thrilled about this baby. I’m thrilled to be having a baby with you. And I’m here for you every step of the way. Whatever you need.”
“That’s, um. That’s really, really nice,” I say with tears in my eyes.
He leans down and kisses me.
I kiss him back.
In front of my whole family.
When we break from the kiss, it registers that the whole room is whooping and clapping. Even my twin looks happy.
Sam shouts, “Alright, everybody! Let’s celebrate the happy couple with some pork products!”
With that, my brothers gather around Bacon and pull him into the dining area.
I stay a few feet behind and lean closer to Molly.
“Pork products?” I ask.
Molly responds, “They wanted to be welcoming of Bacon’s culture, so they really went all in on pig products.”
“Oh, dear god,” I say as we reach the table and see the spread of glistening meats.
Bacon winks at me from across the table. He apparently loves this.
“Behold,” Sam says, gesturing toward the table covered in food.
“Behold!” Alex repeats in a British accent and raises one pinky like he’s holding a cup and saucer brimming with tea.
This is a silly thing we Bedd siblings have always done when one of us says a “fancy” word.
Ethan and I follow suit. We shout “Behold!” in our own attempts at a British accent and each lift a pinky finger as well.
All four of us mime drinking from our imaginary teacups.
Gran smiles and shakes her head. “You kids.”
Sam continues, “For our menu tonight, we have bacon-wrapped dates, bacon-wrapped scallops, bacon-wrapped asparagus…”
“So much bacon-wrapping,” I say under my breath to Lia.
Ethan chimes in, “We also have bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches—more commonly known as BLTs. And for some variety—the pig is nothing if not a versatile animal—we have sliced pork, pork sausages, and a candied ham.”
My brothers look so proud.
Gran’s hands are clasped over her heart, her eyes shining.
“Thank you, everyone, for this weird and wonderful welcome,” Bacon says with an obvious lump in his throat. “I’m truly touched by your thoughtfulness. I think we’d be wise to have some antacids on hand for tomorrow morning, but other than that, I don’t think there’s anything else to say other than… Let’s eat!”
Sam responds with a raucous, “You heard the man! Let’s eat!”
Chapter 16
Bacon
