Page 49 of Bringing Home the Bacon
“Maybe not so ridiculous,” Alex offers. “How about Ginny Quick?”
Sam groans.
“And April Simmons?”
Ethan groans.
“And any number of girls who were gunning for me in high school,” Alex continues.
Sam quips, “Wow, your confidence certainly surges six beers in.”
“I’m just saying, Colleen has justification for her fear.”
“No offense, guys, but I’m way more interested in your sister than I am in you.” I laugh.
“A quick text to reassure her probably wouldn’t hurt.” Sam shrugs.
“You’re right, Sam. I will quick-text her!” An idea forms in my drunken brain as I grab my phone. I start typing, then hesitate. “I hate that I don’t know this, but what is Colleen’s middle name?”
“Murphy,” Ethan says.
“Her name is Colleen Murphy Bedd?” I marvel.
“It was our mom’s maiden name,” Alex says. “They didn’t really think that decision through.”
“Well, I think it’s beautiful. Just like your sister.” With that, I fire off a free-flowing text with little-to-no concern for how it will be perceived on the other end.
Colleen. Colleen. Colleen Murphy Bedd.
Thank you for that time in my apartment when you gave me head.
Your brothers are fun, your brothers are neat;
But you are a queen and I bow down at your feet.
We’re going to be scorching, just wait and see.
All I need is you. You’re the one for me.
I know that our relationship is still brand spankin’ new,
But what can I do? I’m head over heels in love with you.
I hand my phone over to Sam. “I just sent that. What do you think?”
“That’s, uh—That’s… wow, I mean, that’s really something.”
“Thanks! Hey, guys. Can I overstep?”
“Overstep on…what exactly?” Ethan asks warily.
“Your family business,” I say. “Your farm business, more specifically. Colleen told me about the struggles you’ve been having, and I want to help. How can I help?”
“You could hand over that massive check you just got from Yes, Chef!” Alex’s face gives me no clues as to whether or not he’s joking.
“Alex!” Sam scolds. “That is so many levels of obnoxious.”
“It’s actually not!” I assure them. “I’d hand that money over to you all right now if I could, but the contract conditions are clear: all prize money is to be used for the opening of my new restaurant and the opening of my new restaurant only. I don’t even receive the money outright. There is a special account that tracks my team’s spending, clocking where each payment goes.”
