Page 118 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
“Poop!” The kids laugh and holler. “Pooooooooooooooooooop!”
“Sorry,” she mouths to me from across the circle when more chaos ensues.
I shake my head, letting her know it’s totally okay. I clap again once, and miraculously, everyone quiets down and regains focus.
The lights in the gymnasium flash, signaling our cue: “It’s showtime.”
“Alright, friends,” I say. “Give it all you got out there tonight, okay? Penny and I are so proud of you. Hands in the center and merde on three?”
The kids look positively giddy at the opportunity to say poop in another language.
All hands go in the center, Penny’s coming in last and landing softly on top of mine.
We take a collective deep breath, everyone shouts, “One…two…three… MERDE!” and disperses, our parent volunteers guiding them toward the backstage area of the auditorium.
“Have a great show, everybody!” I shout as they trail out.
When I turn, Penny is still standing in place.
“Sorry about that.” She winces again. “I wasn’t thinking when I said it.”
“Are you kidding? You gave third graders the opportunity to scream ‘poop’ before they perform. Pretty sure they’re going to have the best show ever. You shook the stage fright right out of them.”
“Alright.” She chuckles.
Man, it’s good to see her smile again.
“That present for me?” I nod toward her oversized purse, where a gift-wrapped box is peeking out slightly.
Her face goes white at that, and she clutches her bag tighter to her side.
Damn. Wrong thing to say, I guess.
“I was kidding, Penny. I don’t expect any—” I clear my throat and gesture in the direction the kids all went. “Shall we?”
“Oh, I bought a ticket, so I’m sitting in the house.”
“You didn’t have to buy a ticket. You’re part of the team. You can watch backstage from the wings with me.”
“I know. But it’s my first baby step getting back into dance and choreography. “So… I kinda want to have the whole experience. You know, watching the lights come up, seeing the kids hit all their formations. Because you know they’re going to hit them this time.”
We laugh. These kids haven’t hit their formations once in all the rehearsals we’ve had, so we both know how little a chance there is that it’ll suddenly happen tonight.
“I totally get it. You should have the whole experience then.”
“Unless you need my help backstage,” she offers.
“Nah,” I wave a hand. “I have more than enough parent helpers back here to keep things in chaotic order. Go. Enjoy.”
She turns to head in the opposite direction.
“And Penny?”
“Yeah?” She stops and looks at me.
There are about a million things I want to say to her right now. But those will have to wait until after the show. So for now I simply say…
“Merde.”
