Page 53 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
I take a deep breath. “Of course I’m okay. I’m always okay. Let’s just get this over with, huh?”
“All good?” Keira is suddenly beside us. How much of that rant did she hear?
“Yup! Let’s get that pic,” I say with excess cheer.
Matt takes a seat, his legs spread wide. “Hop on, girl.”
“Could you, um, could you close your legs?” I avert my eyes, trying my damnedest not to look directly at his velvet-covered crotch.
His brow furrows. “Sure, but I’ve been finding the one-thigh-sit approach works best. Put the customer on my right thigh with their knees swung inward. Then we’re sort of side by side for the photo, ya know?”
I can’t even process what he’s saying right now. “No, just—close your legs, please.”
“If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard that one,” he jokes. “Kidding. I’ve never heard that one. As you wish, madam.”
Matt obediently brings his knees together.
He waits.
Keira and Dottie wait as well.
All eyes are on me.
“Right, uh.” My voice wobbles. “I’ll just, um, I guess I’ll just… sit.”
I approach his throne, turn my back to him, and sit down on his lap. Hard.
“Ow!” he shouts.
“Did I hurt you? Oh my god, are you hurt?”
When I turn my head to look at him, his face is so close to mine, our noses brush.
He leans even closer and whispers in my ear, “It’s okay, Penny. Santa likes it rough.”
“Say cheese, cuties!” Keira singsongs.
I face forward and attempt a smile, but I can only imagine what the camera captures, because I feel completely out of my mind right now. I want to get off his lap immediately, and I want to sink into him and spend an afternoon basking in his warmth and his scent and his humor.
“You were, um, you were right about the one-thigh approach. This, uh, this is… intimate,” I say through clenched teeth as I continue to smile for the camera. “My butt is directly over your man region and?—”
“My man region doesn’t mind,” he rumbles.
He wraps his arms around my waist now and plants his chin on my shoulder so we’re cheek to cheek. This feels like an honest-to-goodness hug, and I can’t help myself. I melt into it. When was the last time a hug felt this good?
“Adorable!” Dottie shouts and peers over Keira’s shoulder to look at the photo. “Oh, that’s adorable.”
“Have you been avoiding me, Pennywise?” Matt whispers in my ear.
I continue smiling, but I realize it’s not forced anymore. This feels so nice. Comfortable. I feel myself relaxing into him. “I’m not avoiding you. Yesterday was just insanely busy. Black Friday always has my head spinning and?—”
“Not just yesterday. I’ve barely been able to get eye contact with you this morning. And believe me, I’ve tried.”
“I’m sorry.” He’s right. We both know he’s right.
“We had fun on Thanksgiving.” He keeps his voice low. “Right? I mean, I did.”
“Sure. Yeah,” I say, breathless. “I had fun too, but?—”
