Page 85 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
“Yeah,” he says, breath perfectly smooth. “Cryptic. She asked to see Gene specifically, but then backtracked on it and never explained why. And now it seems like she doesn’t want to even be in the same room as him.”
We finish the round of warm-up squats. He takes the PVC pipe from me and stacks it in the big tin can with all the others.
“Any idea why?” He looks directly into my eyes.
“Any idea why Keira would be weird around Eugene?” I ask, trying to buy myself time to think.
“Yeah. He said he’d never met her before in his life. Though if you ask me, I’m sensing energy between them.” He starts doing a hamstring stretch.
“What kind of energy?” I mirror the stretch Matt is doing.
“I dunno. Like he thinks she’s cute, maybe? But Gene’s the most upstanding guy around, so he’d never admit that. And he’d certainly never act on it. Unfortunately, he’s one hundred percent committed to Elinor.”
“So tell me about this Penny workout,” I say.
“You’re right. That’s what we’re here for. Eugene’s a big boy. I’m sure he can handle himself. Same goes for Keira, right?”
“Right.” I nod, hoping like hell we change the subject off Keira and Eugene once and for all.
“Alright.” Matt rubs his hands together. “You feeling limber?”
“-ish,” I joke.
“We can work with ‘-ish.’” He grabs an erasable marker from the whiteboard ledge and pulls off the cap. “For today’s ‘Penny’ workout, we will need…” He scribbles out the words while he speaks. “Two rowers… six dollars… and one ’90s music playlist.”
I laugh. “What kind of workout is this?”
“The fun kind,” he says. “The tailor-made-for-Penny kind. Working out should be fun, right?”
“I certainly think so,” I say, my tone implying that other people don’t.
“And I agree with you,” he says. “A lot of people hold themselves back from making positive steps in the right direction because they think it should look a certain way. I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit. This is our life. We can make up our own rules. And our own workouts.”
I try not to look into the fact that he’s saying “we” and “our” a lot more these days.
“Case in point. You told me you used to love rowing, right?”
“Right.” I smile.
When I was in high school, I joined the rowing team, much to my mother’s horror. “Such a masculine sport,” she always said. I loved it, but I eventually quit just to make the snide comments stop.
“Well, rowing is one of the best full-body exercises a person can do. So that’s Part One of our Penny workout. I can’t get you out on the East River on an actual boat at the moment—give me a few days and I’m sure I can figure it out—but I do happen to have two of Kingpin Fitness’ finest stationary rowers right here at Bossfit we can use.”
“You’re going to row with me?”
“Of course I’m going to row with you. ‘Penny’ ain’t no spectator sport!”
“Alright.” I laugh. “Chill, dude.”
He continues, “You also said last night, and I quote, ‘I’m a New Yorker. I get most of my exercise from walking.”
I nod. “It’s true. And when I’m on the floor at Herald’s, I usually double the number of steps I normally get.”
“Love it. So… I don’t think you’d balk at the idea of ramping up your usual walking pace to a light jog and running with me to Mother of Junk for a quick peek in the dollar bins?”
“No, I would not. That sounds delightful.”
“Cool. That is what the six dollars are for. And for Part Three…”
