Page 77 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
My phone dings with a text.
Penny: You up?
Holy shit. She’s texting me.
Me: You know you’re never supposed to text someone “you up” unless…
Penny: Unless what?
Me: Unless you’re looking for some action.
My phone rings. A glance at the screen shows that it’s Penny calling. Shit, I took it too far, didn’t I? Now she’s gonna ream me. I shouldn’t have teased her. This was an intense day, and obviously, she’s not looking for action. Not from me anyway.
Stupid, stupid.
I pick up the phone. “Hello?”
“I’m not looking for action,” she blurts.
“No, I know. I’m sorry for saying that.”
“I mean, I’m not not looking for action,” she says cryptically.
“Huh?”
She’s losing me here.
She sighs. “I just mean that’s not why I was texting. I literally wanted to know if you were up.”
I double-check the time on my phone screen. “Penny, it’s eight o’clock. Of course I’m awake!”
“I dunno, dude! You strike me as an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ kind of guy.”
“Sure, but eight p.m.?” My voice ratchets up. “Penny, if I ever start going to bed at eight p.m., you have full permission to call me grandpa.”
“I would never call you grandpa.” She laughs. Then her tone turns serious. “But, um, I also shouldn’t have called you my boyfriend.” She clears her throat. “That’s why I’m calling. To apologize for that.”
She giveth, and she taketh away.
I knew she didn’t really mean it when she said it, and I’m not naive enough to think we’re in a relationship now, but I guess part of me wanted to revel in the possibility of it for a little longer.
“No apology necessary,” I say. “You did a really kind thing for me today. For my mom, I mean.”
“Are you sure? I’ve been doubting myself all afternoon. My great-uncle had dementia, and his caregivers told us not to contradict him when he was having an episode. Especially if what he was imagining made him happy. They said that correcting him would only cause him distress. So I guess their advice kicked in when your mom assumed I was your girlfriend and seemed so pleased.”
Having Penny as my girlfriend would please me too.
She continues, “But your mom’s situation might be completely different from my uncle’s.”
“No, that’s pretty similar advice to what her team at the memory care center tells me. You did the right thing, I think.”
“But now what?” she asks. “Is she going to remember meeting me and expect to see me again?”
I pause.
“Matt?” Penny sounds so worried.
“Sorry, I was thinking. I mean, it’s possible that she will? I just don’t know. It’s getting harder to predict what she will or won’t remember.”
