Page 31 of Pucking Knox
He sits beside me, close enough that our shoulders touch. Just like when we were freshmen, scared and trying to prove ourselves.
"Talk."
"She's..." The whiskey makes everything spill out. "She's nothing like I thought. Everyone sees this perfect senator's daughter, right? But she's so much more. She's fierce and funny and she takes no shit, even from me. Especially from me."
"Knox—"
"You saw her with my piece of shit dad." My voice cracks. "Didn't even hesitate. Just... handled it. Made him feel human again. Made me feel..."
"What?"
"Like maybe I won’t turn into him one day." I stare at my hands, seeing his blood in my knuckles. "Like maybe I'm worth something more than a fucking low life."
Ace is quiet for a long moment. "So why are you out here getting drunk instead of telling her this?"
"Because I'll ruin her." The truth burns worse than whiskey. "My father's already threatening to expose shit that could tank your family's campaign. I got scouts watching my every move. The combine's in three weeks and I can't... I can't risk everything we've both worked for just because I'm stupid enough to fall for her."
"You really think Kennedy gives a shit about the campaign?"
"No." I laugh humorlessly. "That's the problem. She'd throw it all away. Her trust fund, her family's reputation, everything – just to be with an idiot like me. I’m not sure I’m even worth it."
"An idiot like you," Ace repeats slowly. "You mean my best friend? The guy who fights anyone who threatens his team? Who learned to waltz for a fancy party? Who's been protecting my sister since day one?"
"I'm not good enough for her, Ace. You and I both fucking know it."
"That's not your decision to make. And fuck, I hate it to admit, but it’s not even my decision to make." He stands, offering me a hand up. "We’re leaving this party."
"Why?"
"Because you're drunk, you're in love with my sister, and if I leave you alone, you'll do something stupid like hook up with Michelle Swift."
I laugh as he pulls me to my feet.
I follow him inside on unsteady legs, the world spinning in more ways than one.
"Ace?"
"Yeah?"
"I really love her."
He sighs. "I know, man. I know."
Something buzzes in my pocket. Another threat from my father. Another reminder of why I can't have this – can't have her.
But for the first time, I let myself imagine what if.
What if I could be worthy of Kennedy Walters?
What if love is stronger than fear?
What if...
"Stop thinking so loud," Ace mutters as we walk. "We'll figure it out tomorrow."
Tomorrow. When I'm sober. When the combine feels real again. When I remember all the reasons I pushed her away.
But right now, I’m drunk and honest and missing her.
