Page 32 of Pucking Knox
I'm tired of pretending not to love her.
And I really want to see her right now.
Chapter 13
Calculus formulas blur together on my laptop screen. I've been staring at the same problem for twenty minutes, but all I can think about is Knox's face in the garden. The way he shut down. The wall that slammed between us.
"Kenny, you've been rereading that same equation for like an hour. Are you okay?" Sawyer asks.
We're camped out in the library during midterms week, surrounded by empty coffee cups and scattered notes. My phone sits silent beside me, no messages from Knox since the gala.
"Just stressed about the test."
Sawyer closes my laptop. "Nothing to do with the fact that you're in love with your fake boyfriend and haven't told him yet?"
I choke on my coffee.
"Come on." She rolls her eyes. "You admitted it last week. 'Oh Sawyer,'" she mimics my voice, "'I think I'm falling for him for real.' Remember?"
Right. I hadn't told her about the garden. About how spectacularly that almost-confession went.
"It got complicated."
"What's complicated? Tell him how you feel."
"He's not..." I try to find the right words. "He's not ready for that. The draft is coming up, and scouts are watching him, and everything's so precarious right now."
"Sounds like excuses to me."
"Plus, remember how I blackmailed him?"
She side eyes me. "Yeah."
"Yeah," I mutter, not wanting to say more. "This deal was sort of one-sided, so I get it. Everything’s fine."
My phone buzzes. For a second my heart jumps, hoping it’s Knox, but it's just Patricia.
Patricia: Need to discuss Knox's background check results. My office, 3pm.
My stomach drops. "They're digging into him."
"The campaign?" Sawyer reads the text over my shoulder. "That's not good."
Not good is an understatement. Knox has secrets – the kind that could ruin his draft chances if they got out. The kind I've been helping him protect.
Just like he's been protecting me.
Ace is waving at the entrance, trying to capture my attention.
"Uh," I say. "Coming." I follow Ace outside, where late February wind whips across campus. "Everything okay?"
"You tell me." He studies my face. "Haven't seen you with Knox lately."
Right because he lives with Knox. Knox is also his best friend.
"Midterms," I lie. "Really busy."
"Right." Ace shoves his hands in his pockets. "Well, about Knox..."
