Page 50 of Pucking Knox
"It is real." She hands me a tissue. "That's why he's running, babe."
Before I can respond, Ace bursts back in, face pale.
"Knox is at Murphy's." He runs a hand through his hair. "Starting fights. It's bad."
My heart stops, sitting up from Sawyer’s bed. "How bad?"
"Three guys so far. Grey's trying to talk him down but..." Ace looks at me pleadingly. "He might listen to you."
"He made it pretty clear he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say."
"Kennedy." Ace crouches in front of me. "Please. He's going to ruin everything he's worked hard for. I don’t know what the fucks going on with him. This is kind of like him, but not him when he’s with you. Please."
That gets me moving. Because even if Knox doesn't want me, doesn't trust my love, I can't let him destroy his future. The future is all that he’s got.
Murphy's is chaos when we arrive. A crowd has gathered outside, phones recording as security tries to break up what looks like Knox versus half the Providence University hockey team.
"Knox!" I push through the crowd, ignoring Ace's warning. "Stop!"
He freezes at my voice, giving one of the Providence players a chance to land a solid hit. Blood sprays from Knox's nose but he barely seems to notice. His eyes, wild and lost, fix on me.
"Princess." He wipes blood from his face. "You shouldn't be here."
"Neither should you." I step closer, hands raised like I'm approaching a wounded animal. "Come on. Let me take you home."
"Can't." His laugh is bitter, scary. "Can't go home. Can't be what you need. Can't be anything but this." He gestures to the chaos around us. "Violence and damage and everything you deserve better than."
"I don't want better." I reach for him slowly. "I want you. Just you."
"Don't." He jerks away from my touch. "Don't look at me like that. Like I'm worth saving."
"You are worth saving." My voice breaks. "Worth loving. Worth everything."
"No." His eyes are glassy – drunk or concussed or both. "Stop trying to fix me. I'm not one of your causes. Not some broken thing you can make perfect. You’re just going to leave."
The words hit like a punch. Because that's what he thinks – that my love is about fixing him. Changing him. Making him into something he's not.
Camera flashes go off around us. Tomorrow's papers will probably show this moment – the senator's daughter reaching for the violent hockey player while he bleeds and rages.
"Knox." I try one more time. "Please. Let me help."
"Help?" He laughs again, that terrible empty sound. "Like you helped with my father? Made him your little project too? Trying to save the whole Thompson family?"
Pride finally overtakes heartbreak. "Fuck you."
His eyes widen at my tone.
"Fuck you for thinking my love is about fixing you. Fuck you for not trusting me enough to see the real you. And fuck you for being too much of a fucking coward to believe someone could actually want you exactly as you are."
Silence falls over the crowd. Even the Providence players step back.
"Kennedy—" Knox starts, but I cut him off.
"No. Fuck you, Knox! You don't get to push me away and then act like I'm the one who doesn't understand. You don't get to make me feel stupid for loving you." I straighten my spine, channeling every bit of my father's political steel. "You want to self-destruct? Fine. But don't pretend it's about protecting me. Don't pretend you're doing me a favor by breaking my heart."
Camera flashes increase. Tomorrow's headlines practically write themselves: Senator's Daughter Confesses Love for Violent Hockey Star that Refuses to Love Her Back.
"Let's go." Ace appears beside me, glaring at Knox. "Grey's got the car."
