Page 66 of Pucking Knox
I nod in understanding. "I will do right by her." It's the easiest promise I've ever made. "Or you can kill me yourself."
"Deal."
The search for Kennedy takes hours. She's not at her usual spots – the library, the coffee shop. Her phone goes straight to voicemail.
Night falls and rain starts as I circle campus again. My combine scores are probably trash. Scouts are probably writing me off. My future is probably in shambles.
None of it matters in this moment. I’ll deal with it when it comes.
I’m at the girl’s dorms, glancing up. And my heart pounds in my chest because there's a light on in Kennedy's dorm room window.
It’s time for me to seal it.
I start climbing.
Chapter 25
A knock at my window cuts me off while I talk to Sawyer. We both snap our necks to the window.
Knox balances on the fire escape, rain soaking his combine shirt, eyes wild and desperate.
"I’ll go. Give you two some space," Sawyer says quickly as she darts out of the room.
"Wait," I plead with her, but she doesn’t hear me. I suck in a breath. I don’t want to be alone with him right now. I’m not ready.
For a long moment, Knox and I just stare at each other through the glass. I can’t move from my bed. Did he hear the things I was saying to Sawyer? Rain runs down his face, drips from his hair, makes him look like something from a nightmare.
Or a dream.
I should leave him out there.
Should protect my heart.
Should choose pride over love.
He knocks again, maintaining eye contact with me. I guess I can’t leave him out there all night.
I slip off my bed and open the window.
"I can’t believe you climbed up here," I say as he climbs through my window, dripping on the carpet. "Someone could have seen you."
"Don't care." His eyes devour my face. "You left before I could find you."
"Maybe that’s what I wanted."
He flinches. "Really?"
I wrap my arms around myself, creating distance. "You don't get to just show up here. Don't get to make some speech and climb through my window and expect everything to go back to how it was."
"I don’t expect that." He stays by the window, rain dripping from his clothes. "I know I fucked up. I hurt you. I know I don't deserve another chance. But I have to try. Have to tell you..."
"What? That you're sorry? That everything you said to me before was a lie?" I feel sick to my stomach as I stare at him. "You were right about yourself during your little speech. You’ve been a coward. Please do not tell me that you didn’t mean anything you said. You meant every single fucking word you said in that parking lot and at Murphy’s. For once, I would like to hear you take responsibility for it."
"I do, Kenny. I know I said fucked up things. I wish I didn’t."
"That…right there. The wishing part doesn’t even matter because you said what you said. You did what you did. It’s like killing somebody and then you get caught and now you’re in the courtroom and you claim you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to do it." I laugh, imagining it. "That’s fucking bullshit! That’s bullshit, Knox."
He nods, watching me.
