Page 28 of Pucking Knox
My heart stutters. "You think I'm strong?"
"Are you kidding?" He stops pacing to face me. "Everything they throw at you – the control, the expectations, the constant judgment – and you still stay true to yourself. Still fight back. Still..." He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the careful styling. "Fuck, Kennedy. You're the strongest person I know."
The way he's looking at me makes it hard to breathe. No one's ever seen me like this – seen past the perfect daughter facade to the real me underneath.
"Knox, I—" The words stick in my throat. Three dangerous words I absolutely cannot say. But I feel him slipping away. Maybe his anger is engulfing him, or this event is too much. I don’t know, but I want to tell him how I really feel.
Something flashes in his eyes and he steps back suddenly. "We should go back inside."
"Wait." I grab his arm. "I need to tell you something."
"Don't." His voice is harsh. "Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're feeling – don't."
The rejection hits like a physical blow. "What? Why not?"
"Because this isn't real, remember?" He pulls away like my touch burns. "This is an arrangement. A rebellious deal against your family. You blackmailed me into this, so it’s nothing more."
"This is not nothing," I say, confused about where this is coming from.
"It has to be." He won't meet my eyes. "The draft is in six weeks. I can't afford... we can't..."
"Can't what?" My voice cracks. I can’t believe this right now. "Can't do this? Can't admit that this––"
"Kennedy—"
"No." I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold despite the fire burning in my chest. "You're right. My rebellious stage. This is just business. Just a deal. My mistake for thinking it could be anything else. Iblackmailedyou. Well, you cockblocked me! Remember!"
He stares at me. "You blackmailed me because I cockblocked you?"
I turn to go back inside. Not to let him see how much this hurts.
His hand catches my wrist. "Princess..."
"Yeah, I did. And maybe if you let me fuck someone as nice as Harvey Reynolds, we wouldn’t be in this predicament."
"Someone as nice as Harvey? Real fucking nice, Kenny. I am not to blame that you blackmailed me. All of this isn’t just me."
"Right." I pull free. "Because you’re innocent, claiming my virginity like it’s a goddamn trophy. Get over yourself."
Inside, the party continues like nothing's changed. Like my heart isn't cracking in my chest. Like Knox Thompson hasn't just reminded me exactly why falling for him was never part of the plan.
"Everything okay?" my father asks when I return alone. "You look upset."
I paste on my best campaign smile. "Everything's perfect."
Just like always, he believes the lie.
But for the first time in my life, I wish he didn't. I wish someone would see past the perfect facade to the girl underneath, breaking quietly in designer shoes.
Someone already did, whispers a treacherous voice in my head. But something weird just happened, and I ruined it. I don’t think he likes what he just saw out there. There’s a nagging voice in my head that I’m too much, too put together, too perfect.
And I can’t blame him. I shouldn’t have pushed him. I could tell something’s been up since his father showed up. I turn around to look for him. My eyes scan the room. Knox is exiting the building.
My stomach is in turmoil.
Just like that… he’s gone.
Chapter 12
