Page 80 of Slaying for Santa
Vulnerable.
So, I steel myself, and tell him the truth.
“I’ve already surrendered to that,” I admit, enjoying the way his shoulders drop in relief.
“Then what’s wrong? Was sharing you too much?”
I shake my head quickly. “No, it’s not that either.”
“Get that hot arse over here and tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?” He pats the mattress beside him, and Ihave to clear the lump building in my throat as I gear up to open my heart.
Crawling up beside him, I make sure I’m angled his way so he can see my face, but I can’t for the life of me look him in the eyes right now.
I can be open and honest and uncomfortably blunt about sex, filth, and murder, yet the real stuff… emotions… that shit is hard.
Still. I’ve never wanted to share this part of me with anyone before… until now.
“Nine hundred and twenty days.”
That’s all I need to say before he’s pulling me to straddle his lap, those strong hands cupping my face as he forces me to look at him.
“I know. I’m so sorry, Bell.”
A tear slips free, and it’s something I’m not used to doing, ever, let alone in front of someone else. But here with him, I feel safe, so I let them fall.
“I’m on day three now, but… will you help me… help me get back to nine hundred and twenty days, and beyond? I’ll need to go to meetings. Find a local sponsor. Maybe even therapy.”
“Fuck yes.” He presses his forehead to mine, our noses squishing together. “I’ll doanythingfor you. In fact, I should let you know I’m also on day three.”
My brows shoot up and I pull back to stare at him. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t do drugs, but I do drink more often than I should. So, I decided that your day one was going to be my day one too. In fact, in case you didn’t notice, there wasn’t a drop of alcohol consumed at Christmas lunch.”
My brows hitch as I go over everything in my head. There were jugs of juice. Water. Cans of soft drinks, but no… no alcohol.
“Kit. You don’t have to do that for me. This is your house. You should be able to have a drink if you want one.”
“Correction, this isourhouse, and I don’twantorneedone. And God fucking knows my team needs to lay off it.”
I smile at that. “Well, if you change your mind, just know I’ll be okay with it. Cocaine maybe not so much, so please refrain from that, but grog should be okay.”
Kit chuckles. “I’ll have none of that inourhouse, or around Libi.” He gives me a squeeze. “So, day three we are.”
“Day three we are,” I agree, blinking at him as a warm smile washes over his features.
“Fuck.” He reaches around, weaving his fingers into the hair at my nape, and tugs me close. “I’ll never get enough of you.”
He closes the gap, claiming my lips in a searing kiss, and I melt against him, loving the way his tongue has the power to unravel me as much as his words.
When we pull apart, we are a little breathless, but my stomach takes that moment to growl, and we both laugh before Kit lifts me off him, back onto the bed, and pulls the tray closer.
“Eat.”
Smiling, I pick at some of the food, trying to ignore the fact I can feel Kit watching me.
“So, you’ll stay then?”
I nod.
