Page 20 of Jingl
Trace
Now that Shae and I are alone in my car, I’m afraid to say what I was going to before our interruptions. But putting the words off until after breakfast gives me more time to think. How to tell him what I feel. See if he feels the same way. How to ask him if he’d like to—
“Tracy,” Shae laughs my name because I realize I just passed up Felix’s Diner. “What’s going on?”
“Sorry, distracted.”
“Something I can help with?” Shae’s voice is laced with concern.
“Not yet.”
He snorts. “That’s not ominous at all.”
I get us turned around and park at the side of the building next to Wendy’s SUV.
When he goes to unbuckle, I grab Shae’s hand. His breath hitches and he looks at me, pupils blown wide. It takes everything in me to not lean in and kiss him. What am I thinking? Shae might not really be into me despite what Wendy says. Maybe he just wants what we had, the platonic cuddles I took for granted, the easy friendship. But the more I think about it, the more I know Shae and I are made for each other. I just hope he feels that way too.
“It’s kind of scary, but a good scary? I don’t know. But… after breakfast. When we’re alone. Is that okay?”
Shae nods. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips. His throat bobs, and I want to trace it with my tongue. What the hell?
“That’s fine. It’s not like you telling me you’re not writing letters anymore, right? Because that was really traumatic for a second.”
“No, nothing like that.” I press a finger to my lips. “After breakfast.”
Both our stomachs rumble at the same time, and we laugh as we get out of my car.
I really want to take his hand and walk in with him, but that will make mom and Wendy suspicious. If things go the way I hope, I want Shae and I to have a little bubble of just the two of us before things go public.
The door chimes as we walk in and we’re transported to the fifties. Instead of the typical red vinyl though, it’s pink and blue and white, reminding me of the trans pride flag.
Felix, the owner, is an ally of the entire LGBTQ+ and the diner had been one of my favorite places growing up because I knew Shae would be accepted no matter what. And I think deep down I know I’ll be accepted here no matter what I decide my label is, if I ever decide I need a label.
“Oh my god, kiddo, you’ve grown!” Peggy bounces to her feet from the table they snagged and rushes over to us to give me a rib cracking hug. She drops her hands on my shoulders and leans away, looking at me this way and that.
She’s just as sparkly as Shae tends to be, with glitter in her graying blonde hair and shimmer on her cheeks. With her jeans and calf-height boots, she’s wearing an orange Thanksgiving sweater featuring a turkey and lettering that says ‘Eat me’. “Still cute as a damn button.” She boops my nose before looping her arm into mine and leading us to the table.
“Shae, sit next to me!”
“No!Me!”
The niblings argue for my best friend’s attention. I’ll let them, for now.
Shae walks up behind them and scoots one away from the other. “How about I sit besidebothof you?” He gives me a look that says sorry, we’ll be together later.
The laugh bubbles out. “What about me?” I pout. “You won’t see me every day anymore unless it’s on the phone.”
Kenzie’s eyes grow big. “What?”
Shit, what have I done? “I’m gonna live here just like Shae.”
“Do you like Shae?” Kenzie tips her head, and I glare at my sister, but she holds up her hands.
“Didn’t mention a word,” Wendy says.
Peggy and Mom giggle. It’s like the damn world is conspiring to make me confess my feelings around a bunch of people instead of alone in privacy like I want. Like Shae deserves.
“Of course I like Shae.” A lot. More than I really want to admit. “He’s been my best friend since we were even younger than you two.”
