Page 3 of Jingl
“Ohhhhhh.”
“Grow up.” I throw my silverware in the box I’m filling up. I hate when she gets like this. Shae’s been my best friend my entire life. Of course, I want to move back to where I consider home. Big city life has never suited me, but the college here was good, so I stayed and now I’ve saved up enough money to be where I’m called to. Frostdale, Maine.
“I swear the two of you would live in each other’s skin if you could.”
“Ew, what?”
“You’re basically attached at the hip.” Wendy wraps each plate in newspaper as she pulls them from the cabinet.
“You make it sound like we’re a married couple.”
Wendy turns and gives me one of her ‘are you kidding me’ looks. “You two talk more than married couples. I would know. I’ve been married for a while.”
I roll my eyes again. “It’s not like that.”
She stops everything and grabs my shoulders. “You’re kidding me, right? You know Shae loves you. Are you toying with his emotions? What are your intentions? Because so help me if you break that sweet boy’s heart—”
“What?” I swat her away. “Shae’snotin love with me.”
Wendy makes a screeching noise. “How are youso clueless?”
“I’m not clueless. He’snotin love with me.” My voice wavers, and I avoid Wendy’s probing gaze. Deep down, I’ve wondered about Shae’s feelings, but I can’t confront them now.
“You’ve been writing love letters to each other for eight years.”
“They are not love letters!”
“No one writes lettersweeklyfor eight years unless it’s love.”
“You’re infuriating. Of course, I love Shae. But it’s notlike that.” I don’t think.
“Really? Because I think it’slike thatfor him.”
My face burns. I know Shae’s gay. We’ve had a lot of conversations around sexual orientation. Several when we were young teens before my family moved away. He’d told me he knew he was gay his entire life. Girls never did anything for him. The last we talked about it, I’d concluded I wasn’t straight, but not ready to label myself. I’m still not sure about labeling myself. I’ve never been as confident as Shae in most aspects. But I know Shae isn’t in love with me. At least… I don’t think he is.
“Earth to Trace. What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s going to expect you to want to date. And—”
“Shae isn’t like that. I guarantee the only thing he expects is friendship.”
“And you’re going to play with his poor heart by being there.” Wendy presses a hand to her chest. “Poor poor Shae.”
“No. Don’t put that pressure on me.” I just want to move back home. If my heart also wants to be closer to Shae, that’s my business. But I don’t think he’s in love with me. That would be absurd, wouldn’t it?
“Why now?” Wendy changes her line of questioning. “You know Mom’s devastated you won’t be with us for Christmas.”
“My plan was to be in Frostdale in October for our birthday, but that didn’t pan out. And you know Christmas is Shae’s favorite season.”
“And he’s incredibly busy every year. He’s always doing something.”
I smile remembering the picture of him as an elf at the mall last year. He was adorable, and it doesn’t surprise me he makes all the costumes. He’s been designing clothes forever out of necessity when he was younger. His mom struggled for a while and he took up sewing to help ease the burden. He’d go to Goodwill and turn anything he bought into something better.
“If you’re imagining him in stockings, you need to explore your feelings.”
“What? I am not—”
