Page 5 of Jingl
Tracy: Getting closer over here.
Why does my heart flutter? This is Trace. Yeah, I may or may not have had a crush on him on and off my entire life. The thought of him coming back home makes me so giddy I could skip from here to the mall. But the idea of a romantic relationship with Trace terrifies me. So I don’t think about it. I shove that sliver of desire into the back of my chest and let it glow just the tiniest bit every few years.
I snap a pic of my glittery self and send it to him.
Shae: Heading out to set up Santa’s Village now.
Tracy: You’re fucking adorable.
Uhm. What? My head spins so hard I have to reread the text. He’sneversaid that to me.Never. What the hell does it mean? I screenshot the convo and text it to Alec, my not really older brother, but the guy I’ve been bugging about older brother questions since we started at the mall elf gig together. He’s been the photographer while I’ve been an elf.
Shae: What does this mean?!
The dots bounce as Alec responds… with a laughing emoji.
Shae: Don’t make fun :crying:
Alec: What do you think it means?
Shae: Idk. that’s why I’m phoning a friend. Help!
I take shallow breaths as I wait for the dots to stop bouncing.
Alec: Sounds like you have a fun convo in your future.
Tracy: Hey sorry, that was weird, wasn’t it? It was. You’re over there freaking out, aren’t you? Shit. I guess cat’s out of the bag. I think you’re cute.
I suppress a squeal scream. What is happening? I send another screenshot to Alec. Of course I get more laughing emojis back.
Shae: HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS?!?!
Normally, I flirt with anyone and everyone. Butthis is Trace.
Alec: Don’t ask me for dating advice. I’m the one who fell for a straight guy.
Shae: What?! Tea! Also, I’m not asking for dating advice.
Alec: :laughing emoji:
Why am I texting Alec when we could be talking? I throw my phone in my bag and start the car. Alec will be at the mall to help set up. And so will Nate. I can get both of their opinions.
I do my best not to speed and get into the mall parking lot with time to spare. I look longingly at my lunch before grabbing the bag to pull out the cold turkey wrap I made last night. As I get out of my car, I shove the end of the turkey wrap in my mouth and hope I don’t spill any of the barbeque sauce down my shirt. I sling my messenger bag over my shoulder and power walk towards the mall entrance with my bells chiming the entire way. Before I go inside, I finish my lunch and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I have to look magical now. And smell magical. I grab the vanilla sugar cookie body spray from my bag. After giving the air a squirt, I walk through the haze, then pop a mint in my mouth. Perfect.
As soon as the automatic doors to the Frostdale mall open, I’m no longer Shae. Jingle takes over. It’s as if Christmas magic wraps around me like Cinderella’s transformation and turns me into the elf I’ve pretended to be every year since I started the gig at fifteen. My shoulders go back, I elongate my spine, and step into the mall. The scent of cookies and coffee hits me as soon as I do. This wing of the mall has the cookie shop and I’m not mad about it.
There’s a family of three in front of me. The small child giggles and swings between the two adults holding them aloft.
The soft jingle bells of my shoes catch their attention and the child squirms to look behind them.
Right at me.
I don’t want to break the illusion that Santa is real. If a child sees me in my street clothes, then they might lose a bit of Christmas magic and I don’t want to be the one that does that. No, let the rest of society and age be the ones that tear away everything. I want to create something mystical and fun.
Their eyes go wide. I give them a little wave and a wink as we go our separate way at the junction.
I have to keep myself from running through the mall to get to where I’m going. Hopefully Alec is already here and we can talk. Every shop is already playing Christmas music and my smile gets bigger.
Finally, the soon to be Santa’s Village sprawls out in front of me. Pallets of the set sit behind caution tape. Everything is laid out roughly where it will go. Every year I insist on helping the temporary builders to make sure everything is perfectly set. And this year Alec is in town early. I can’t wait to hear why. But first I need his insight.
