Page 24 of Jingl
I slide deeper into the seat and play with the frosty glass in front of me. “Like you always knew you were gay, I always knew I wasn’t straight. I know it sounds weird. I knew I wasn’t gay because I foundeveryoneattractive. But bi didn’t feel right for me. Pansexual feels nice, but labels feel so restrictive. So if I had to choose—”
“And you don’t.”
“But if I did, I’m pan. But lean the most towards Shae-sexual.”
He blinks at me, mouth twitches, then he bumps me with his shoulder. “You didnotjust say that.”
“Oh, I did. But I had to go through some guys, gals, and pals to really understand it. I kind of explored it all. I’m vers, that I know. Got a fleshlight and the dildo of my dreams in my drawer back in the apartment.”
“Wait. You’re not joking.” He leans away from me, taking me in and I’m not sure how to take it. “You’re telling me—”
“If you’re open to it, I want to exploreus.” Shit, my heartbeat pounds loud in my ears. Shae can probably hear it.
“Really?” His voice is so vulnerable. All his walls are down.
I nod, too afraid to speak and break the moment.
“What if…” He takes a deep breath. “What if dating breaks us? I’d rather keep my best friend than lose you forever because we’re not as compatible as everyone else thinks we are.”
“I think we’ll be amazing together. I really want the chance to see how good we can be.”
I try not to freak out when he doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. I let him sit and contemplate everything I’d said, not wanting to rush him to his decision. Finally, he meets my eyes and grins.
“Okay.” Shae’s smile grows bigger, but he’s rubbing his fingers along the tabletop. Nerves dance between us both. “I never thought it’d be possible. You seemed so out of reach. Always so far away. But now you’re here. And a bit of hope bloomed in my heart that moment I saw you at the mall. Just a little. You’d never—”
I still his tapping fingers from the table and his eyes track every movement until I bring his hand to my mouth and press my lips to his knuckles.
“I’m ready, Shae. Are you?”
Chapter 11
Shae
What is happening? I never in a million years thought Trace and I would be possible. I thought Trace would find someone at college or we’d stay separated indefinitely unless one of my concerts took me to his part of Florida. But now… Now he’s kissing my hand and words leave my brain entirely. He presses my palm to his chest and his heart beats harshly like mine. His warmth seeps into me.
“So, what do you say, Shae Bae?”
“Yes. Yeah.” I nod. We’re gonna do this. I meet his beautiful brown eyes. “But what does it mean?”
“Means we’ll figure it out as we go. Decide what works for us. You have a busy schedule and I can work from wherever with my own hours. So we’ll work around your availability.”
I nod again, like a damn bobblehead. I’m not usually so tongue twisted, but Trace has me tied up in knots. “Can we spend the rest of the afternoon at your place? Can… can we cuddle?” I miss it more than I know. We used to cuddle platonically all the time. We’d get made fun of, but neither of us cared.
“Heck, yeah.” Trace flags down the server and pays for the long ago eaten breakfast and the shakes.
When he slides from the booth, he offers his hand, and I take it. Heat burns through my cheeks. I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never dated anyone, and just the simple act of openly holding my hand means so much to me. He pulls me close and wraps his arm around my waist, so intimate. I grab my bag of clothes before we get too far.
The door chimes when we leave. Cold air steals our breaths away and we both suck in air.
“It’s snowing!” Trace lets me go and throws his head back with his tongue out. He spins and I join him in this dance of catching snowflakes on our tongues. “So cold! I’ve missed this. Missed you.” Trace grabs my hands and we twirl in the snow until we’re both laughing and dizzy. Life is already pretty peachy, but Trace has leveled it up to magical. I don’t want this moment to end.
Trace stops. Snowflakes melt in his eyelashes and dark hair.
The snow is fluffy and won’t last or stick too long. I breathe it in. Trace’s cheeks are flushed. Our breath puffs out in front of us.
He takes big steps towards me and drops his hands to my waist. “Shae?”
“Yeah?” My teeth chatter now that we’re not moving anymore.
