Page 48 of Nightmare For Hire
“You’re not mad?” I ask as calmly as possible.
“Am I supposed to be? I don’t quite know what reactions are expected of me when I’m in my human form.”
“Mick would have gaslit me into staying like he did at least half a dozen times before. I should have left him. But I was a coward and didn’t want to be alone.”
“I don’t think you’re a coward.”
I nod, “Well, I am.” A sad noise leaves my lips without my permission. “And I appreciate you taking away the nightmares, but I need you not to show up while I think things through. If that’s okay?”
Nox nods so hard he loses his balance and trips over his feet. “Anything. I’ll leave you alone. Not one peep or message or poke unless I get word from you first.”
“Thank you, Nox.”
My fingers graze the door knob when Nox whispers, “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you. And I’m sorry for giving you sad eyes.”
I nod and leave the office. The thought of grocery shopping sours my stomach, but I can’t go home. The gym can help mework out some of my frustrations. Or it can make me go numb to everything running around in my head. Like a good boy, I shoot a text to my therapist because I need to talk this through sometime soon.
Once I send the text, I shove my phone into my pocket and run to the gym, loving the way my muscles feel as I push myself. I don’t even care that I’m in jeans, I just need to move.
I arrive at the same time Maddox does.
“Hey, Cyrus.”
I nod, but I can’t help my question. “Did you know about Nox’s Nightmare for hire gig?” I drop my eyes, too embarrassed to look at him if he knows.
“I did. Dani and I told him to tell you about it.” Maddox waves for me to enter first. “But Nox is chaos for good. He hates your ex. I’ve never seen him rage so hard about anyone or anything.”
I’m not sure if I should be upset that Maddox and Dani knew and didn’t say anything or if I need to let it go. Maddox has always seemed trustworthy. But I feel a little like a joke now.
“So I should give him another chance?” I ask. “He explained the entire thing to me and I probably should feel more angry and betrayed, but Nox saysI’mworthyof protection.Me.My brain tells me I should forgive him and give him another chance.”
Maddox shrugs. “You have to do what’s best for you. Give it a few days. Let it all sink in. Nox will respect your wishes, no matter what.”
“I probably should have chosen friendship on Monster Match instead of picking romance.” I just wanted a connection. Someone that wanted to be with me because they saw something in me. I didn’t care if it was friendship or romantic at the time.
“We can talk things out if you want? I’m a little biased because I know Nox. His, well, nonexistent heart, as he would say, is in the right place. Or we don’t have to talk about Nox. There’s a bitof ink peeking from your collar and I’ve been dying to see the entire piece since I noticed you were tatted.”
I shove the collar of my t-shirt up as if I can hide the tattoo. “No.” I back away and almost trip on equipment.
Maddox’s eyes go wide and his hands move as if to catch me before I fall. “It’s okay. I get it. Tattoos can be highly personal. I would know. I’m a government sanctioned tattoo artist. I’ve helped people through different issues because of what I can do.”
“Which is?”
Maddox shrugs. “Depends on the person. I’ve helped little old ladies with arthritis. And I’ve watched people’s faces wash with relief when I’ve covered self-harm scars. Tattoos themselves are healing, whether there’s magic in them or not.”
“They aren’t self-harm scars.” I let my shirt fall back into place. “They cover tally marks.” Just the tiniest hint of phoenix feather brushes over my shoulder.
“Tally marks?” Maddox swallows.
“Hundreds,” I whisper. Would it be so bad if I let him see? If I let anyone see? “Nox doesn’t know the full extent of my past. I’ve been too nervous to tell him much. What if—” I shake my head. “I know he won’t reject me. I’m just terrified of telling him my story.”
Maddox clamps a hand to my shoulder and squeezes. “He loves you.”
“I know. And I love him. I just had to get out of there. It was like my heart was being ripped out, but Nox has never been fake with me.”
“Nox doesn’t even understand the idea of someone being fake. What you see is what you get with him.”
“I know, which is part of what I love about him. My past really messed me up, Madds. It’s so easy to trust Nox, which terrifies me, too.”
