Page 6 of Nightmare For Hire
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.Shit.
I’m more than someone’s plaything. So much more than just a mouth and hole. I’m a neonatal nurse. And a damn good one at that. I have amazing friends. And… I’m going to have to tell my therapist about all this. I throw my head back and groan. Everything will be fine. If it’s not fine, well, just keep going.
I take a quick shower, then examine myself in the mirror. The bite marks already have major bruising. It’ll take days or weeks to clear up, like last time.
Needing a coverup, I text my friend Devon to bring her arsenal of makeup.
Devon: Ohhhhh did you two get frisky again?
Cyrus: Please don’t ask questions :pleading face:
Devon: Don’t you worry, I’ll have my kit ready for ya. Kisses.
No one knows how Mick treats me in private and I’m too embarrassed to say anything. I know better, but when he started chatting me up, I felt like the world stopped spinning and it was just the two of us. But now, I know better. He may think we’re so-called fated mates, but I don’t think that. At least not anymore.
It takes too long to blow dry my hair, so I braid it back, then wrap it into a bun to keep it out of my face. Next, I switch out all my piercings for clear retainers. I had three days off and wore my preferred jewelry instead. Left brow, right industrial, A whole host of piercings along both ears. The only one I don’t change is the small stud in my nose. And the barbells in my nipples don’t really matter.
Tattoos litter my skin, covering the marks and abuse of my past. I don’t have full sleeves yet, but one day maybe, after I leave nursing. Tattoos aren’t the hot button they used to be in the nursing industry, but I don’t like answering questions about them. They’re private to me. My favorite might be the huge piece on my back. A phoenix rising from the ashes. Call me cliche, but I went through a lot to get where I am. A phoenix is fitting, as far as I’m concerned. But tonight I don’t feel much like a phoenix.
I push back the self-hate and pour through my memory for good affirmations.
I am worthy of love.
I am a good person.
I am not my past.
Good things come to me every day.
Once I get my head under control, everything’s fine.
Tonight’s uniform is a long-sleeved white undershirt and light pink scrubs.
I chose my apartment for how close it is to the hospital, and it doesn’t take long to drive to work. When I arrive, Devon waitsfor me in the locker room in the hospital basement. Her eyes go wide and she jumps to her feet to meet me.
“What the hell, Cy?” She’s hardly five feet tall and before she can stand on one of the benches that goes the length of the room, I sit. Her fingers dance across my skin. “What did he do to you?” Her brown eyes fill with concern. Her blonde hair is done up much like mine, in a bun high on her head.
I turn away from her because I can’t face her questions. “Nothing, it’s fine. I just—”
“I’m so sorry.” She launches herself and wraps me in a hug. She’s tiny, but gives the best hugs, and I sigh into her hold. “Shit.You didn’t want this.” She waves to my throat. “Did you?”
All I can do is shake my head. “I think he ra…” Nope, can’t say it. “I didn’t say no, but…”
Devon presses her hands to my cheeks and turns me to look at her. “This isn’t your fault.”
“I was into it. Then I wasn’t. And I didn’t say no. But—”
“Cy.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“You shouldn’t have to handle this. Your partner should respect what you like and don’t like.”
“He doesn’t know what I like.” I push to my feet. “Well, maybe he does. I mention things to him and try to say in the moment if something isn’t to my liking, but…” I can’t tell her Mick is a merman or about my suspicions of him using mer magic, because I’ll sound like a madman. Merfolk aren’t even from the monster realm. They’re our own legends. Here long before the portals to the so-called monster world were even discovered a handful of years ago.
“But?”
“Why fight it? I went through everything imaginable when I was trafficked as a kid, and if Mick wants to fuck me like he hates me, I can endure it.”
