Page 17 of Milo
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
He nods. “I really am. Maybe I’m touch starved.”
“Most adults are.” I feel so honored that I’ve helped. “Would you want to test out having a Daddy?”
“Are you sure? What if I’m high maintenance? What if I don’t know how to actually have a Daddy? What if we’re not compatible in the end? What if?—”
I squeeze him close, making him giggle.
“I’m happy to try if you are. I don’t care if you’re high maintenance. I want to spoil you and if you decide you only want a temporary Daddy, that’s fine with me. We can write up a contract and see where things go.”
Milo’s stomach growls and his eyes go wide. “Hush tummy, we’re cuddling.”
“Maybe we need to get more than a few bites of pizza into you?” I tickle him, making him squirm and laugh.
“Okay. Okay!” He slides off my lap and holds out his hand for me. His cheeks are pink when I push to my feet. He doesn’t say anything as he grabs the pizza from the oven and places it on the table. Steam rolls off it when he flips open the box. “Still looks good.”
We weren’t on the couch for too long, but I already miss him. He grabs a slice and bites down with a moan. He pats his mouth with a napkin as he sets his slice on the plate in front of him. “Let’s negotiate. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m interested.And when a Daddy proposes to be my Daddy it’s probably a sign.”
The tension I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on to releases and I can’t help the grin. “Sounds perfect. And if at any time you’re uncomfortable, we can stop.”
“First things first. Whatisfirst?”
“Let’s start with the length of time for this experiment for now?”
He taps his lips with a finger. “It’s the beginning of December. What if we do the twelve days of Daddying Milo?” I swear he’s going to melt me into a pile of goo every time he smiles at me.
“Twelve days isn’t very long. What about at least through Christmas? And did you know the real twelve days of Christmas actually start Christmas day and go until January fifth?”
“I did not.” His brows wrinkle. “But I like the thought of going longer than twelve days.”
“I do, too. But I’d actually propose the entire month as a trial run, but if something happens, we can end it at any time.”
“That sounds good.”
We go back to our pizza, negotiating different parts. We’ll play at his apartment for the most part. He’s not into diapers. I’m taking him to the Santa mixer on Sunday. And we’re going to play this by ear.
I wipe my mouth and take a few drinks of the melty milkshake. “I think the last thing to talk about is sex in Little space.”
“No.” He grabs the bottom of the seat his in and shakes his head. “I mean. I don’t know. I’ve never had a naughty thought in Little space, but I’ve always played by myself or with a temporary Daddy and it always just felt weird to me. Not that I think anyone that does it is weird. I just don’t think I’m wiredthat way.” He groans. “And I’mnota virgin, but practically basically am a virgin.”
I cock a brow. “What does that mean? Not that you have to tell me and I’m good with no sex when you’re in Little space. I’m fine either way. You can change your mind any time if you want.”
Instead of answering my question right away, he sucks down some of his milkshake. “I’ve only had sex once.”
It’s hard to believe, but I believe him.
“It’s complicated? I’ve been on dating apps for years and kept looking for hookups. But I don’t think I’m made for hookups either. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with them. I just… I think.” He scratches the back of his elbow. “I don’t know. I had sex with a stranger once and just the thought of doing that again, despite wanting more experience, just makes my brain hurt. My insides churn and I want to throw up. I want to have some kind of connection with someone before I bare it all to them. I don’t think it’s a demi-sexual thing, but maybe? I still haven’t figured it all out. Like… I’m attracted to you, to other guys, but I just…” He shakes his head again. “No. Am I weird? Does this mess everything up? Are you freaked out? I’m defective.”
“You arenotdefective. And there’s nothing wrong with you, Milo. Sexuality is a whole spectrum. You don’t have to have anything figured out by a certain time. It’s fluid.”
“We’re practically strangers and I’m dumping all my bullshit on you.” He’s tearing up again.
“It’s okay, but does remind me of one last thing to talk about. I really dislike negative self-talk and punish my Littles for it.”
His bottom lip quivers. “I’ve already messed this up.”
“No, you haven’t, but I do think you need a bit of discipline for thinking so badly of yourself.”
