Page 27 of Beachy Sweetheart
I shake my head. “I think you fixed yourself, sweetheart. All I did was let you be you without judgement.”
He grins and sticks an end of the blue crayon in his mouth.
“Sweetie, let’s not eat the crayons. They aren’t yummy, are they?”
He bites down, breaking the crayon. It crumbles in his mouth and he sits like that with a disgusted look on his face before he picks the pieces away. “Not yummy.” He spits in his napkin and looks at his broken crayon, then my whole box. Back at his broken crayon, my box again.
“Be nice to your other crayons, and I’ll let you have my blue one after we make our order.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” He sucks in his lips and looks around. “Sowwies.”
“Don’t be. You can call me Daddy when it feels right. We’ll play this by ear today, but we should talk later, okay?”
“Okays!” He pulls out another color and goes back to his coloring.
“I’m Mindy. Do you know what you’d like to drink?”
Trevor continues to color.
So I go on and order without further input from him. “I think we’re ready for everything.” I order Trevor the grits he likes and a strawberry lemonade that makes him hum and wiggle.
When Mindy leaves, I hand over my blue crayon. “Tank you, Daddy.” His eyes meet mine. “I love strawberry lemonade.”
He colors contently and just watching him calms me. Before long, the food comes, and he gently puts his crayons and page to the side, making sure the condensation from our glasses doesn’t get on his coloring.
He coughs a few times and takes a long sip of his lemonade.
“I’m going to try and be Big while I eat. Sorry about…” He nods to his coloring page. “I really needed to not think.”
“Don’t apologize.”
He scoops up a spoon of his grits.
“I’m curious about the raccoons,” I say.
Trevor snorts. “I love them.”
“That’s obvious, and I love it for you.”
Trevor eats a few spoonfuls of his grits before starting his story. “My parents divorced when I was nine, but we all stayed in the same house until I was about fifteen. No one wanted to move. It was a lovely house. But every night we’d get raccoons. Dad hated them!” Trevor laughs. “He triedeverythinghe could think of to get rid of them, but they always came back.” Trevor leans forwards and waves for me to lean in. “Probably because mom and I always fed them dog food, and we threw fresh fruit and veggies out to them. Dad never figured it out. We hada lotof nightly visitors. One year a mama raccoon had a litter of babies and she brought all six of them to us. Then they came on their own when they were older. I miss them.”
“I love that. I can just see you sneaking out to feed them, too.” I prop my elbow on the table and lean into my hand. “How old are you? You told me you’d been going to the club since you were nineteen, but you look barely older than that.”
He brushes his bangs from his eyes. “Twenty-three. I’ll be twenty-four in a couple of months.”
“Where’d you go to college?” I want to know everything about him.
“I didn’t.” He squirms in his chair. “I graduated high school top of my class, but I didn’t feel the need to go to college. I worked at the carnival and dad’s hotel. My life experience probably equals to a degree in something.”
“There’s nothing wrong with any of that. I think you know I’m a litigator. It’s stressful, but I love it. Keeps my mind sharp.” I tap the side of my head.
“But something happened. That’s why you stopped going to the club.”
And the tables turn. I gulp down a few mouthfuls of my sweet tea. “I lost a case and my client took his own life. I failed him and didn’t feel like I deserved to continue on enjoying my life.”
Trevor reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry, that had to be rough. But you always deserve to enjoy life.” Again, his face goes red. “I’m still learning that lesson. It’s why mom suspended me for six weeks. She and dad want me to find my passion in life. They don’t want me to live by their standards anymore. It’s all I’ve known forever. How the heck do I figure it out on my own?” His eyes plead with mine.
I chuckle. “Perhaps we can help each other out. But we’ll have to be careful. I know how my brain functions. If I don’t watch it, I could turn you into my reason for breathing. I fell into that pit with my ex, Ryan. He was my entire world for so long that when he broke it off, I was devastated. We can’t live for someone else’s happiness. We have to make our own paths.”
