Page 94 of Composed
“I can imagine.” I chuckle.
The guys were my best friends during my formative years, but it wasn’t until Theo came along that I realised what I was missing. Having someone to gossip with, a friend who cared about shopping, and make-up. I needed that.
Don’t get me wrong, Cole, Saint, and Axel tried. They just didn’t really get it.
And Carter, bless his heart, didn’t want to. He much preferred the gym and his drumkit.
A server passes, and Theo orders for us both, before slamming her menuclosed and dropping it to the table.
“So, tell me everything, Hendrix.” She rests an elbow on the table, dropping her head into her hand. “What have you been doing all these years? Where have you been?”
I exhale a slow breath. “I stayed in Liverpool for a while after uni. I wasn’t ready to go back to Chesterton I guess. Suppose you could say I was running away from everything there.”
“I get that.”
“Then, I moved to Sheffield, bought my first flat, got a job interning as a mixing engineer. That’s where I met my friend, Talia. We opened a recording studio about a year later, I moved back home, bought a house, and the rest is history.”
Theo nods. “Dating? Any men I should know about?”
“No.” I shake my head, laughing. “No men. I like a hook-up every now and then, but one night and I’m done.”
“A modern woman,” she says. “We love to see it. So, no relationship at all since Cole?”
Air hisses through my teeth. “No.”
She hums thoughtfully as the server drops two espresso martinis at our table.
I thank him and twist the stem between my fingers. Theo’s gaze drops to my wrist and my stomach sinks.
I didn’t even think to wear long sleeves around her like I’ve been doing when I’m with Cole.
She nods then—as if answering a question she hasn’t yet voiced.
I sip my drink. “What about you? What have you been doing? You and Saint seem very happy still.”
“Yeah.” Her nose wrinkles slightly as she spins the sparkling, oval diamond around her ring finger. “We are. Mostly. It’s not always easy. Being a rock star’s wife and all that. He struggles a lot on the road, with drugs and booze. Same old. But we’re making it work. I can’t do the whole life thing without him.”
“That’s good.” My chest hurts as I inhale. “Not the struggles, obviously. But that you’re making it work. I’m glad he has you, Theo.”
“Hm.” Her chocolate brown eyes glitter under the candlelight as she scans the contours of my face.
“And you?” She asks. “Are you happy? Like really, honest-to-God, happy with your life and how everything turned out for you?”
I sink my teeth into my lip. “That’s a really loaded question.”
“Is it?” She tips her head, finger dancing around the rim of her glass. “I don’t think it should be. The answer should be simple.”
I open my mouth, but words fail me.
I’m not sure she’s entirely wrong.
I’m thirty years old. I have a thriving career, great friends, I’m financially comfortable, and sexually satisfied.
Ishouldbe happy.
But—
I drain my drink and order another as the server passes our table. “I can’t change anything. I can’t go back in time and make different choices. This is the life I have, and Iamhappy with it. It’s a good life, Theo. I made something of myself and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
