Page 69 of Yours, Now and Always
“She just said my earrings were singing in D minor,” Marin continues. “We are now in the Upside Down.”
“Holy fucksticks,” Tim chokes.
Colin looks at him. “You didn’t label them, did you?”
Tim gasps. “Idid! I was very clear that no one was to touch them!”
Kristen almost spits her mimosa.
Liv drops her fruit.
Maddie’s eyes go wide.
Marin spins back to me with the energy of a woman on a mission. “Okay, no sudden moves. We are now entering vibe containment mode.”
I don’t know what that is, but I wonder if it means I’m about to be escorted to a private room where I’ll have to sign an NDA, sip water through a glittery straw, and be reassured that this is all totally normal bride behavior.
“I think I’m sitting on a velvet marshmallow,” I whisper. “And I think this is what it must feel like to sit on Ryan Gosling’s soul. Is that bad? Does it make me a bad wife to be thinking about another man on the day I’m pretending to marry Gage for the first time again?”
“No,” she says gently, as if she’s talking to a child. “That’s great. We love that for you. Just maybe don’t tell the photographer. Or, like,anyone else.”
“Okay.” I grab her sleeve and pull her in close. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. And don’t tell Gage I just told you that. It’s supposed to be our secret but I’m pretty sure Ryan Gosling’s soul is actually taking over my mouth.”
She doesn’t answer right away. Just stares at me with her brows furrowed. Then she leans in even closer and whispers, “Are you telling me that you and Gage are already married?”
I panic-grip her arm. “Shhhhh! Tim cannot know this! He’ll tell everyone!”
Marin’s eyes go wide. “I knew it. I fucking knew it. I felt thespiritual shiftbetween you two.”
“I mean it,” I whisper-yell. “No one can know!”
“Okay, okay.” She presses her lips together and points at them. “My lips are sealed. Like, literally. Consider me spiritually gagged.”
Before I can exhale in relief, Tim appears out of thin air. He crouches beside us with the kind of forced calmness that only makes people more nervous. “Exactly how much did she eat?”
“One cookie,” Marin replies.
Tim’s entire soul leaves his body. “One whole cookie?Like, every crumb of it???”
I nod serenely. “It was delicious. It tasted like healing and butter and unconditional love.”
Tim clutches his chest. “Oh my god. Oh myGOD. I was very clear on the label that NO ONE SHOULD TOUCH THEM. They were forpost-wedding wind-down only! They’re dosed foremotional rehab, not brunch!”
Colin appears behind him. “How much THC was in them?”
Tim spins around, startled. “Jesus, Colin! Can younotjust appear like the fucking consequence police?”
“Answer the question,” Colin says flatly, pulling out his phone.
Tim throws his hands in the air. “I didn’t measure, okay?! It was intuitive baking! Like, artisanal! You think the weed fairy uses a scale?!”
“I think the weed fairy should be legally required to.”
Tim cranes his head, trying to glance at what Colin’s tapping into his phone. When he can’t get a good look, he snatches it. “If you’re texting Gage, I swear you will be dead to me,” he mutters. “This is how I die. Not with a bang but with Gage Black finding out I drugged his wife.” He squints at the screen and reads it outloud. “‘How to help someone come down from edibles safely.’” He rolls his eyes. “Ugh. That’s not even helpful, Colin.”
Colin arches a brow. “It might be. I haven’t had a chance to read it yet.”
Tim’s not listening. He’s already tapping furiously into the browser bar, muttering under his breath, “How to reverse accidental weed consumption without alerting a billionaire fiancé slash potential personal sponsor of my haircare budget slash morally grey man with enough money and connections to make people disappear without leaving a trace.”
