Page 16 of Yours, Now and Always

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Amelia

I would like to formally request a second group chat. One without Tim. Or Marin. Or...honestly, anyone who has already said the phrase “post-wedding aura cleanse.”

Tim

DENIED.

Tim

YOU ARE STUCK WITH US UNTIL DEATH OR DIVORCE. WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.

Amelia

Great. Super. Just what my nervous system needed. A Scorpio moon and a Virgo with Pinterest.

Marin

EXCUSE YOU I AM A SAG SUN WITH A SCORPIO MOON AND LEO RISING. aka I bring cosmic drama and sequins. You’re welcome.

Gage

Is there a mute setting that still allows me to observe for safety reasons?

Gage

And divorce is not an option. Not fucking ever.

Tim

NO. You’re the groom. You must suffer Amelia with us. This is your trial by fire and florals.

Tim

Let the record show, divorce has been struck from my vocabulary.

Amelia

Do I have to tell you I’m wearing a black dress, or can we just assume?

Marin

Babes I already knew. It’s giving “velvet vengeance with a side of emotional closure.” I’m seeing dark florals. Gold accents. A raw bar that’s actually a dessert table.

Colin

I’m starting a side group chat with Amelia. It will be called “What Fresh Hell Is This”

Tim

WE ARE THRIVING, COLIN.

CHAPTER 6

THE WEDDING WOLVES

Marin

MARIN’S WEDDING PREDICTIONS

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