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Colin

It’s a wedding. Not an emotional vision quest with catering.

Marin

False. It’s both.

Tim

Also, Gage, I’m going to need a full breakdown of: protein options; dessert table selections; whether the espresso bar includes almond milk and wedding-based latte art; whether there will be gold leaf; AND whether I can have a separate macaron tower that spells out “Justice for Tim”

Gage

Yes; whatever dessert Amelia chooses; almond milk and art are not my concern; no gold leaf. And the macaron tower dies here.

Tim

I accept those terms. But what about if I design my tower in a private room? I’m thinking a velvet chaise lounge and a sign that says “No heteronormativity after 9pm.”

Gage

No tower. No lounge. No after 9pm.

Marin

Also. We're going to need a separate menu for people doing shadow work.

Colin

No one's doing shadow work at this wedding.

Marin

That's exactly what someone avoiding their inner child would say.

Gage

There will be food. It will be good. Amelia will love it. You will all deal.

Tim

You can’t steamroll our vision because you're the groom and think that puts you above the vibe council. This is not a dictatorship. It's a collaborative artistic experience.

Gage

I can and I will.

Amelia

I think I want vanilla cake. With lemon curd. And a thin layer of buttercream.

Marin

We will manifest a cake that understands your love and tastes like forever.

Tim

Amelia. My soul just left my body again. That’s not a wedding cake. That’s a soap flavor from Whole Foods.