Page 102 of Peregrine's Call
“I might need more than a little peace.”
Alric shifted his gaze from the altar to Octavian. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been thinking. The pope has made a call for another crusade, and Bernard is preaching it all over Europe, and at last a few kings are answering and gathering forces of their own.”
“Yes,” said Alric. “And already they’re bickering about the best routes to take and who owes allegiance to whom.”
“I don’t think these new fighters know what they’re getting into.”
“Are you feeling the call to go? You have no need to wash away your sins. You’re the most pious man I know, and that includes some priests.”
Tav felt the sting of Alric’s unwitting words. “I’m no saint. But to answer your question, no, I wasn’t thinking about joining the fighting. I am concerned, however, for those I knew in the Holy Land. I’ve been gone longer than I expected, and it may be time to go back. Have you heard some of the stories? After what happened to Edessa, I’m worried about Aleppo.”
“Your city.”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it more and more this past year. I have friends I’ve not seen in a long time and I worry about them, and if the city is being fought over, I should be there to try to keep some measure of peace for the residents.”
“As you think best,” Alric said slowly. “You owe no term of service to your lord, or to the king. You are free to leave Denis’s retinue at any time and do as you wish.”
“I’ve decided nothing yet,” Tav said. “It was just a thought.”
“Have the English winters got to you at last? Or has something else changed your mind?” Alric sounded more tense than before.
Tav paused, then said, “No.” He couldn’t tell Alric the real reason for his worry. If Alric ever found out that Tav had slept with Robin, that would be the end of any friendship between them. Alric would take it as a violation of trust, which is what it was. Indulging in his desire for Robin was the stupidest thing Tav had ever done, because there was no honorable conclusion to it. “I need to think it over.”
“You’re in a church,” Alric said. “Best place for thinking there is, especially for you. I’ll leave you to it.”
Tav found no peace that night, and when he woke in the morning, he felt as if he hadn’t slept at all. He rode out at first light, long before Robin would wake up, so he had no chance to even tell her he was going.
He felt a sense of relief when he passed through the gates of Cleobury, and then instantly hated himself for it because he knew he was running away.
Chapter 34
“Heleft?” Robin’s heart constricted.She’d wondered why she hadn’t seen Octavian all morning, and then Cecily broke the news.
“Just to bring Lord Drugo back from London,” Cecily clarified. “He’ll return within days. Are you missing his company already?” she added with a little laugh.
“No,” Robin said, too quickly. She missed the man she thought she knew, before he revealed the truth in his conversation with Pierce. But even so, she wasn’t ready for him to leave. “I just wanted a word with him,” she said to cover her flustered reaction.
“Hmmm,” Cecily murmured. “Well, you’ll be happy to hear that your Geoffrey will arrive soon. He’s been quite concerned about you in your absence.”
Robin had almost forgotten the existence of Lord Geoffrey Ballard, and the reminder was not a pleasant one. “He has?” she asked.
“Shouldn’t a man be concerned for the woman he expects to marry?” Cecily’s eyebrow rose. “You don’t sound very excited, Robin.”
Robin was not excited. The thought of Geoffrey merely brought a new wave of confusion. How was she supposed to look on a man such as Geoffrey and smile and be sweet and unassuming when she’d just endured weeks of hardship and had her heart swept up and then dropped to the ground? And how could she lift her face for a kiss from Ballard when she had the memory of Tav’s kisses all over her body, and the feel of his hands on her skin, and the completely heart-scorching moment when she took him inside her own body…
“Robin, are you quite well, dear? You’re so flushed.” Cecily, healer and herbalist, put a hand to Robin’s forehead, testing for fever.
I should ask her if she knows how to heal a broken heart.
“No fever, but perhaps you should rest.” Cecily regarded her thoughtfully, as if she were about to prescribe some concoction for Robin to drink.
“What will you tell Geoffrey?” Robin asked.
“What willyoutell Geoffrey?” Cecily replied. “You’re the one who went away. It’s your story to tell.”
“But it was to be kept secret,” Robin said. “At least, at the beginning, until the king knows what to do with Pierce’s information. And I don’t think he’d like to know the details, truly. Geoffrey, I mean. I didn’t behave as he thinks I ought to. I slept outside and disguised myself and got into fights and spent far too much time with men who…weren’t Geoffrey.”
