Page 72 of Peregrine's Call
Octavian had made a mistake with Robin. Many mistakes. He’d either gone much too far with her, or not nearly far enough…and even though he knew it was a mistake, the remorse just wasn’t there. He couldn’t ignore that it happened, or pretend it was an incident he could forget about. He was also certain that if another opportunity arose to make love to her, he’d do it without a second thought. He just wasn’t strong enough to resist her again.
He lifted his hands and examined them in the dim glow of the embers, wondering if he’d overlooked something all these years. The skin on the backs of his hands was rough and crisscrossed with thin scars over his knuckles and fingers, remnants of strikes from blades that he’d defended too slowly. Thank God he’d improved as a fighter. His palms were just as work-worn. The cold chapped the flesh, and all his traveling required him to wear gloves, or grip reins or baggage, or scrabble to build a fire or dig a pit. There was nothing pretty about his hands or his fingers…though she did seem to enjoy how he touched her.
Tav sighed, the feeling of her next to him casting out all other thoughts. She was so lovely. He wanted desperately to know just how it would feel to have her completely, to know how her body would take him, to make her explode with pleasure and knowhewas the one responsible for it.
But she was as good as promised to someone else, and he wasn’t going ruin the rest of her life for a few nights of lust. He loved her too much for that.
Then he realized what he’d just thought. He loved her. It wasn’t just a physical need. He cared about all of her. Her odd mix of idealism and cynicism, her headstrong nature, her little jokes, and her fierce defense of anyone she felt was in danger. He couldn’t think of a more perfect woman for him.
But he was not the perfect man for her. He had nothing to offer, not even a parcel of land or a home to take her to. He had no wealth and no way to earn wealth other than by his sword. And what sort of life would that be, him leaving her for months on end to campaign for someone else’s war? He had no illusions about the likely fate of any man who made a living by killing. He was lucky to have survived as many battles as he had already. Who’d be cruel enough to marry a woman, knowing that he’d leave her a widow sooner rather than later?
Tav couldn’t do that. That was one of the reasons he’d held himself apart. Not a reason he even admitted to himself until now, when he finally knew there was a woman he wanted to stay with for the rest of his life.
She just happened to be the one woman he should never have considered.
In the morning, Tav woke Robin up and was hit by her smile, which very nearly seduced him all over again. Only the urgency of their errand kept him from staying in bed with her all day.
Robin teased him about his dedication, and though she meant nothing by it, Tav took the jibe harder than he should have. He’d just been thinking about how his vaunted dedication to serving his lord was starting to feel more and more hollow. Especially when it meant he had to deny himself something as slight as an hour longer in bed with Robin next to him. But no, he had to avoid even that tiny comfort for the sake of hauling an irritating, occasionally traitorous lord to the king.
Fortunately, he was able to hide his mood from Robin. She kissed him sweetly after she dressed, saying she’d see the horses were ready and all the baggage packed. That left him to wake up Pierce, who decidedly did not want to wake. Octavian practically had to threaten him at swordpoint to get him on his feet.
Govannon, by contrast, hopped into his basket with only the lightest coaxing. Tav gave the cat a rub behind the ears as a reward, then fastened the leather straps. He looked up to see Pierce frowning.
“That’s my cat. Don’t think you’ll trick him away from me.”
Tav stood up, enabling him to look down a few inches at Pierce, who wasn’t as tall. “Animals can sense who’s trustworthy—it’s how they survive.”
“Tell that to the lambs who go peacefully to the slaughter,” Pierce retorted. “Most animals are stupid…so are most people, trusting until the last.”
“Get your things together,” Tav ordered shortly. It was too early in the day to deal with Pierce. “Don’t make us wait.”
Not long after, they rode out. Robin rode ahead several lengths while Tav remained near Pierce, who’d said almost nothing since they left the inn.
Pierce glared him, his mood not improved one bit from the morning. “Why is my head still so groggy?”
“Perhaps the ale last night was stronger than your usual fare, my lord,” Tav suggested, just as he wondered if Robin had any more of the poppy syrup in her bag. Nothing would please him more than Pierce out of the way every night.
“I can hold my drink,” Pierce said. “All I know is that I was eating my meal, and then I woke up in the morning with no recollection of how I even got to my bed.”
“You were no doubt exhausted from the effort of traveling as we’ve had to do. I know you’re used to better. You used to have a carriage, yes? Before you lost Malvern?” Tav couldn’t resist needling Pierce. His faith taught him that he shouldn’thateanyone, but he was fairly certain the text of the Bible said nothing aboutdetestingsomeone.
“I didn’t lose Malvern,” Pierce hissed. “It was stolen from me.”
“Fortunes of war,” Tav said with a shrug. “No doubt the current occupant feels he earned Malvern as a result of all his hard work to take it.”
“Then he can die of a pox,” said Pierce. “And as for you—”
Suddenly, Robin wheeled her horse around on the road ahead and galloped back toward them, causing Pierce to shut his mouth.Small miracles are still miracles, Tav thought.
He shifted in his saddle, watching Robin’s approach. “Problem?” he asked when she was in earshot.
Her forehead was wrinkled in concern. “There are men ahead of us on the road. Dressed like soldiers. Armed like soldiers.”
Pierce said nervously, “Perhaps they’re just marching somewhere, and we can wait them out.”
“Or, if they’re men loyal to Stephen,” Tav said hopefully, “we can travel with them and not have to fear Estmar’s or Ranulf’s men catching up to us.”
Robin looked over her shoulder. “But none of us can exactly ride up and ask. We’re all liable to be captured if they’re unfriendly.”
