Page 90 of A Fearless Heart
“Like hell it’s nothing. Tell me.”
“I can’t. It’s stupid.”
“Let me decide that, blossom. After all, how stupid could it be if you’ve been stewing over it all night?”
“I’d rather not.”
“Am I going to have to insist?”
“That sounds like a threat.”
“It’s a bit of threat, though I’d much prefer not to make any.” He gentled his tone. “Please tell me, Cady. Is this about last night? Regrets? I don’t like seeing you so miserable.”
“You’ll laugh.”
“And that scares you,” he guessed.
“Of course,” she retorted. “Everything scares me.”
“You sound more angry than scared. So go ahead and tell me.”
“I had a bad thought earlier. It just jumped into my head. And I think I’ve told you before that once a bad thought gets into there, it just sets up shop and stays forever.”
“Tell me the thought, Cady.”
“I thought you looked so in command earlier, like you owned this house instead of me, that I thought…”
“That I intend to steal it from you, the town house and Calderwood and everything? That this story about the poison and the murders is just an elaborate ruse to gain your confidence and take advantage of you?”
Cady dropped her eyes, too embarrassed to look at him. “Yes. That was exactly the thought I had.”
“Would it help if I told you that’s not true?”
“I told myself that, and it didn’t help at all.” Instead she’d just felt that the bad thought got truer and truer the more she tried to deny it. Just like all her thoughts about things that scared her—the terror came from the mere possibility of them being true, not the overwhelming likelihood that they were false.
Gabe took her hands in his. “It’s actually a quite normal thought to have.”
“It is?” she asked skeptically.
“Well, yes. You’re a woman without much in the way of security, but enough wealth and land—not to mention beauty—that a man might easily want to seize all that for himself. And I come along with a frankly mad story about how I’m hunting down a murderer whose weapon of choice is an exotic poison and I need your total trust to do it. Honestly, I’m still sort of surprised you do believe me.”
“So…” Cady said, “Areyou after my land and my income?”
“I wish I were, love. Because then I wouldn’t be up to my neck in theories about a poisoner and getting a bit nervous every time I take a sip of a new drink. But consider this. If I just wanted to compromise you and force you into a hasty marriage so I could control all your wealth, I could have done that several times by now.”
“Perhaps you’re toying with me.” But she said it with no heat, letting Gabe know she already recognized the truth of his words.
“I’d never toy with you,” he swore. “Tease, yes. Tempt, yes. But I never ever wanted to play with your heart or trick you into anything that would hurt you.”
“I’m sorry I acted like I did this evening.”
“You have a lot on your mind,” he excused her, “and this is a very strange situation. But I do hope you’ll tell me the next time you have one of your bad thoughts.”
“Part of the problem is that I’m afraid to say any of the bad thoughts out loud. It might make them real.”
“But more likely, it will show how unreal they are.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Cady, you’ve got such an intelligent mind. You shouldn’t be surprised when it decides to work against you, it’s more intelligent than the average person’s. But it’s also clear that your mind has been working against you for a while.”
“Well, thank you for that diagnosis, but what am I supposed to do about it?” she asked.
