Page 56 of Jensen
“She didn’t answer the phone on purpose,” I whisper.
“I didn’t plan that part,” he says. “She just said I should call you.”
I’m speechless, my gut twisted. Of course, I should have put all the pieces together, but some of it doesn’t make sense.
“If you put her onto me, why try to get me to dump her?” I ask finally.
“I didn’t put her onto you, I just said that,” he says. “She picks the men and sends them on. I didn’t expect her to find somebody who was just a kid. When I met you, that changed things.”
“How? How did it change anything?”
He looks at me, and I wonder if this is the way my father might have looked at me if he were here right now.
That’s when it hits me. This is what I was desperate for the entire year I was sleeping with Holly: a smarter, older man to listen and tell me what to do, one who cared about me.
“Because you were just a kid, Jen,” he says quietly. His voice sounds the way it does when he’s in church. “Miss Holly fell for somebody she wasn’t supposed to. I’ve told her more than once to leave you alone, but I think she feels guilty about what she did.”
My food is getting cold. I haven’t had a bite yet.
“I think she loves me,” I say finally.
“I think she does too. But I think she’s angry about it,” he says. “Guilt is a funny thing. It can make you pretty damn mean if you let it.”
I can’t figure out what to say. Once again, I’m in a mess, and I don’t know how to get out. I set my fork down and cross my arms, staring out at the parking lot.
“Hey,” says Brothers. “Can I say something?”
I glance over. “Sure.”
“I’m real sorry,” he says. “I really do mean that.”
I feel the tug of sympathy, but I’m pretty cut up right now.
“Okay,” I say.
“I want you to know I love you, Jen. You’re family to me now.”
Boom. There it is, the explosion at the end of the low whine. Those words hurt more than anything. More than Holly’s betrayal and Brothers’ hand in it. More than Cherry kicking me out. Because even though I’m hurting, I believe him. He does love me like his own blood.
We sit. He lets me have my silence.
Finally, I clear my throat. “Where’s Ashleigh? I could use a warm up on my coffee.”
He smiles. I’m choking, but I smile back.
“You can always talk to me, Jen,” he says. “Anytime you’re in trouble. I’ve got your back. Alright?”
“Alright,” I repeat.
I forgive him. Because if I don’t have Brothers, I have no one.
NOW
Hearing that name come from her lips broke the seal. Everything is coming back, and I can’t keep it down. I’m sick, the way I was when he told me about Miss Holly.
I take the cigarette out of my mouth and lean over the railing, vomiting into the grass. As fast as the sickness came, it’s gone.
I’m alright, I think.
